


Oretachi

by Akaicchi



Series: Mukidashite: Bare (Your Teeth) [2]
Category: Persona 4, Persona Series, Shin Megami Tensei
Genre: Action, Buddhism, Complicated Relationships, Demons, Dysfunctional Family, Five Years Later, Forgiveness, Literary References & Allusions, M/M, Manipulative Behavior, Mukidashite Verse, Not Really Character Death, POV First Person, Possessive Behavior, Psychopathology & Sociopathy, Red String of Fate, Second Chances, Self-Harm, Semi-Public Sex, Shadows (Persona 4), Shinto, Stabbing, Symbolism, Team as Family, Unconditional Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-23
Updated: 2017-05-08
Packaged: 2018-10-23 01:35:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 16
Words: 36,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10709379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Akaicchi/pseuds/Akaicchi
Summary: Oretachi is the second part of Mukidashite. Can be read alone (summary of Part I included in first chapter), but is definitely better with Okaeri! It picks up right where the first story leaves off!Nanako seems happy. Tohru seems a mix of trying to be happy and trying not to be pissed. Ryoutarou seems stressed and oblivious per usual.Adachi is starting his house arrest sentence, and many parties are unhappy with the arrangement. He impatiently prods a distant Dojima to help repair their bond. Adachi works with the old Investigators to seal off places in the TV World that are analogous with the real world to prevent more shadows and persona users from sprouting up—Doesn’t end up as helpful as they’d hoped...What will this next week bring with it!? If you’re wondering—yes you are, ADMIT IT—a LOT happens this coming week!! Love! Murder! Shadows! TRIIIIIIIALS!!!!!Nanako will fully awakens her persona. Teddie worries about a stalker who threatens to rip apart the long-sought peace. Kanji runs interference. More old faces continue to show up as everyone works through this next stage of their lives!





	1. No Second Chances (Yuu)

**Author's Note:**

> "Oretachi" is a 'rough' way of saying "us". It’s the most informal way for a man to say "we", and implies closeness or manliness.  
> "Okaeri" followed Nanako, Adachi, Dojima, and Kanji as their social circle found out that the Midnight Channel Murderer has received a commutation on his sentence. Adachi is moving in with Dojima and Nanako for (at least) five years. We took a look back at the beginning of Adachi and Dojima's intense relationship, one the older man worked hard to keep up even after the game's true ending.  
> We also learned in "Okaeri" that Nanako is able to summon a persona, Kanji has taken in Teddie after Yosuke moved away, and Yukiko is also in the picture, running her family's inn. An angry Yuu has come into town for the weekend to see how things go and keep an eye on Adachi. Everyone else has since moved away, too, but will they stay away?

Chapter One: No Second Chances

(Yuu)

I follow the crowd into the house watching Nanako and Uncle lead Adachi to the couch, where he awkwardly sits. Nanako tucks her legs under her and takes a seat next to Adachi, not dropping his hand. My jaw is set into a scowl as I watch my family coddle the man who almost ruined them.

Uncle scratches his face awkwardly and breaks away from the others, walking into the kitchen. Kanji finally drops Teddie's arm and the lanky boy runs over to the couch to sit on Adachi's other side. I'm taken aback at the instant way he warms up to the man, chattering a million miles a minute. Teddies glances at the other two's hands and tries to grab Adachi's free hand. The taller grimaces and yanks it away at lightening speed and Nanako laughs, patting Teddie's arm.

I want to scream.

"Uuh, Yuu-kun?" I hear from behind me. I turn my head to see Kanji looming over me, Yukiko right next to him.

"Yah!" I jump. "What is it?"

"We need to talk..."

Yukiko nods and motions for me to follow them outside. "It's about Nanako and Teddie," she explains. I must be showing a worried expression, because she tries to reassure me. "It's not bad, necessarily, but it should shed some light to what's going on."

I follow them silently, watching as Kanji waves to my uncle, motioning that we're going for a walk. I think Uncle will feel more at ease without Yuki or I around anyway. I bow slightly and catch up with my friends.

Kanji leads us towards the floodplain, walking slowly so we can keep up with the giant. "So yeah. There's something up with Nanako and Teddie and I think Adachi, too." He squints, working out how he wants to phrase this. I nod for him to go on, Yukiko also waiting patiently.

"I'll start with Nanako," he muses. "She has a persona now. Or something." He absently rubs his head. "I'm not really sure, but she can heal people."

"What?" I stop. _How?_ "When did this happen?"

"I dunno," Kanji replies. "Maybe a month ago she fixed Adachi's fingers that didn't set right, and they practiced it another few times after to see if it was just a fluke."

"I don't like that," I voice aloud.

Yukiko nods. "Isn't all that supposed to be over? We haven't seen anymore incidents since Kanamin's problems."

"I don't know..." Kanji reiterates his position with a frown. "We might need to take care of some loose ends."

Yukiko and I glance at each other. We didn't know about loose ends. "I thought the trouble here was over after we took care of Izanami. What else is there?"

"I didn't know either," Kanji agrees. "But Adachi was going on and on about ways shadows and stuff can still come get us if we don't seal off Magatsu-Inaba. He thinks more demons and stuff will be attracted back here if a lot of us persona users are together."

My head snaps up. "Adachi said this? What's he basing the conjectures on?"

"You gotta ask him," Kanji sighs. "It was a lot to take in and I don't understand it all. Teddie seems more sure of himself. He said he can close up shop, but he'd rather we come with him..." he trails off.

"Oh!" Kanji suddenly blurts. "The eyes!!"

"What?" Yukiko asks at his outburst.

"Did you guys _see_ Adachi's eyes?" Kanji's own eyes are wide as though he can't believe what he's about to tell us. "They're yellow like a shadow's! He lost his Izanagi but there's still something up with him." He scratches his head, frowning at the ground. "You saw the way Teddie was glued to him, right? He's been like that with Nanako lately, too, saying he senses something different in them. But he doesn't know what it is or how else to explain it yet."

"Nanako's nothing like Adachi," I spit the words, my frustration spiking.

Yukiko sighs and puts her hand on my shoulder. "You know that's not what he meant."

I nod slowly. I still don't like it.

"Y-yeah. Let's just ask Ted, okay?"

We all agree that we need more information and decide to head back to the house.

At the house, Nanako and Teddie still have Adachi cornered, while Uncle sits at the low table watching the others contentedly. Adachi's mug is sitting in front of him on the table and he's sipping from his own.

Forget Teddie, I'm going straight to the source. "Adachi can I talk to you privately?" he shoots me a glare and I can see his eyes for the first time. They certainly are startlingly yellow-gold. I shiver.

After an eternity of staring each other down, Uncle stands and hands Adachi his mug. "Take this and you can go talk in your room—" he cuts himself off, looking awkward at the fact that what used to be mine is now the other man's. I had told him it was okay; to keep the peace.

"Alright." He pulls Adachi to his feet and away from the kids. "Go talk this out, you two." He shoves Adachi in my direction, who turns back to give Uncle a look. "It's fine," he tells the younger man. "We'll all still be here when you get back," he assures his friend and smiles. Then he impatiently pushes Adachi forward again, which looks way too much like an excuse just to touch him.

I hold back a frown when Adachi walks towards me, leading me upstairs.

He turns the handle to my old room and pulls the light's cord, illuminating the interior. I sweep my eyes around at the combination of Adachi's and the Dojima's stuff commingling. It feels wrong.

He collapses on the couch, taking a tentative sip of the light-colored coffee from Uncle. "What do you want?" he snidely asks afterwards, his demeanor shifting.

Before I can even remember to ask about Adachi's eyes, I catch sight of a small photo album on the table while I'm sweeping the room. It's jammed between a mountain of junk food and a few back issues of Weekly Jump. Adachi's eyes follow my own and he snatches it up before I can make a grab.

Adachi sets his coffee on the table so he can flip through the book. His face looks both aggravated and surprised, the most emotion I've ever seen him display.

"What's in it?" I have to ask, even though I probably don't want to know.

He gives me a patronizing look. "Photos."

" _What_ photos?" I try, being more specific.

Adachi cautiously passes the thing to me and I quickly page through it myself. Pictures of Uncle and Adachi, Nanako and Adachi, and even a few of all three together.

It's the three shots from a station nomikai that catch the bulk of my attention. I study them closely, aware that Adachi is watching me with just as much interest. Uncle looks pretty smashed, and in one he's got Adachi in a headlock and is aggressively rubbing his head. The other man is trying to get away, while a few other officers laugh. In another, there's the sickeningly adoring way Adachi is watching him while he's deep in conversation with someone else. And in the last one, it looks like Uncle fell asleep sprawled across Adachi's lap. Adachi looks suitably uncomfortable—but not unhappy—and the Chief is handing him another drink like he knows Adachi could use it.

"You look closer than I remember," I carefully remark.

Adachi studies me with those unsettling eyes again. "We are," he curtly replies.

"You probably know what I wanted to talk about," I say, trying to change the subject.

"But what, now you wanna know where I fit in this family instead, right?" he needles me.

I won't take the bait, but do want to know what the hell is going on. I must take too long to reply, because Adachi goes on.

"We're 'together'," he air-quotes.

No.

Gross.

 _No_.

Not _him_.

My feelings must show on my face because Adachi smirks, full of piss and vinegar now. "Yup," he addends. "Super close!" he claps his hands at the end for emphasis.

"Enough," I finally sigh. "I dragged you up here to ask about the things you told Kanji and Nanako."

"Right!" Adachi snaps his fingers. "The Leader is back, one of the few with brains, huh? Well then listen carefully." He's enjoying putting on a show, and I'll have to indulge him to get the information...

"You need to close off all the places monsters appeared from or they can still find their way out. And now that so many of us in Inaba have personas, it could attract more monsters and gods and people like you, Yuu-kun." I grimace at the sweet way he says my name like we're friends. "So I told them to be aware of what's going on around them. Not much else you can do."

Adachi grins. "I mean, you didn't even realize it was the guy from Moel who dragged you into all this! Fucking fantastic! I sure hope your friends are brighter, so there's no more chaos around here," he lectures animatedly. "It was fun and all, but I have better things to do."

Like sit around the house all day, I want to quip, but hold it in. "Okay. How do we do that."

"Do I really have to explain every single thing to you?" Adachi moans, drinking more of his coffee.

I glare, but keep my tone even. "How long will it take?"

"Shouldn't take more than a few hours," he replies crossing his legs over the coffee table.

"We'll do it tomorrow. I leave Sunday." At that, I turn on my heel and walk out of the room.

"And good riddance!" I hear Adachi hoot after me.

I start to shut the door, but Teddie bolts past me, slamming it behind himself.

_Unsettling. All if it._


	2. "Pray for Peace and Self-Control" (Tohru)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We begin with Teddie being Teddie, giving no consideration to personal space and doling out a nickname to Adachi! Nanako chops off his long hair. Dojima is Dojima. He sends Adachi mixed signals, while the other man gets aggravated and tries to puzzle out where he stands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *title lyrics from "The World We Live In" by The Killers  
> PLEASE READ END NOTES AT THE END! They go into a little detail about something IN the chapter and will make more sense after.

Chapter Two: "Pray for Peace and Self-Control"

(Tohru) 

After the king of fools leaves my room, I don't have a chance to head back downstairs before the scrawny one pops right in, practically falling to the floor in his rush.

"What?" I pointedly ask.

"You're  _different_ ~!" he marvels.

I try to look annoyed. "Yeah? So?"

"You're like _me_ ," he manages as he comes closer to me, staring with huge, blue eyes.

I back up. "Don't touch me!" I snap. He looks like he didn't know what he was doing to begin with, and straightens up. He tips his head to the ceiling.

"You feel like a brother."

"I don't have a brother," I sharply tell him. He's ignoring me, though, so I just make a face and wait for whatever's coming.

"Can I call you niichan?"

I shake my head. "No way."

"Whyyyyyy?!" the boy whines.

"If anything, I'd be an aniki," I stupidly muse aloud.

So of course he latches on immediately. "Okay, Aniki-chan!" the blond boy yells and dashes out of the room with a goofy smile plastered on his face.

What is  _with_  these idiotic people?

I lay down on top of the new futon, wondering how I'm supposed to react to everyone. I wait a long while before I go back downstairs to eat some food.

As I descend the steps, I can see that they've finally all gone home. I could collapse right now, but I won't.

_I think I'd actually like some time some time to myself..._

I grab an assortment of sushi and vegetables, eating silently on the couch while Nanako and Dojima put the extra food away. I flick on the television when no one speaks.

Dojima wanders over while I quietly watch TV and pick at the few things left on my plate. He's carrying a large case and smiles sadly.

_It's not your fault I have to wear that thing._

He sets up the transmitter near the stairs, and then locks the ankle bracelet around my lower leg. "Sorry," he says, almost inaudibly as he retreats back to the kitchen.

When I've finished eating, I set my dish on the dining table and start for the stairs. "I'm going up," I call to them.

 _I just want to take off these nasty clothes and go the fuck to sleep. I can do that, right? Everything _was__   _all set up for me._

"Oi!" Dojima yells from the kitchen. "Wait—Hang on."

I pause at the foot of he stairs until he catches up with me. He nods for me to go up and follows.

"What?" I tiredly ask.

"I... I—ah—wanted to show you where everything was, that's all." He looks embarrassed.

Inside the room he points out where the clothes are— _Really_ , I never would have guessed they're actually in the dresser, right? And everything else is out in the open.

 _Are you stalling?_ I feel myself narrowing my eyes, appraising the situation.

It's his turn to ask me 'what'.

"I was just gonna go to bed," I reply, yawny.

"Oh," Dojima replies, his eyes flicking up and down as he takes stock of my dirty clothes. "I can run the tub if you want?"

_...I probably should clean up._

I tell him yes and flop onto the couch to wait.

Then Nanako is knocking on the jamb, also looking uncomfortable. "What?" I ask her more gently, curious.

I sit up straight because she's fidgeting. I raise an eyebrow, silently questioning.

"I was thinking I could cut your hair for you," she finally tells me.

I finger the bangs that hide my eyes. "It doesn't look like you," she tries to explain. "And I practiced on Teddie and Kanji!"

_Why not? It's not like I can go out to get a cut._

"Okay," I nod. She tells me to fetch her after I wash my hair.

She disappears from the door, but Dojima's immediately back, looking fidgety, too. When he doesn't speak, I decide to find clothes. He'll talk if he wants to.

 _Why are they all acting like they have to be so _careful__   _around me now? Is it cause of the crying?_

_Dammit!_

_Let's not remember that..._

Yeah. Forget it.

I root around, seeing what they picked out. I decide on a tee-shirt, boxers, and socks. I turn to leave the room, but Dojima's still standing there all squirmy. "Hmm?" I inquire.

"..."

I sigh. "You have to speak up."

Now he's going red. "Do you want me to wash your back? Is that okay?"

_You never asked before._

_Is everything going to be different?_

I nod and slide past him to the bathroom. Inside, I set down my clean clothes and start the water. I can hear Dojima click the door shut behind himself.

It's not like I had any privacy these past years, so there's nothing to feel embarrassed about now.

Or at least I tell myself that as I take off the dirty, slightly bloody, old clothes from my last day in Inaba. They smell. I throw them on the floor and walk into the shower room.

"Is it alright to just throw these away?" Dojima calls.

"Yeah," I call back to him. What do I want  _those_  for?

I hear him shuffle back out of the bathroom and then return a minute later. "Can I come in?" He asks.

"Yes?" I irritably reply, unsure why he's bothering to ask; like he's never seen me naked. _I'm getting agitated._

After I finish scrubbing my head, I suds up the washcloth. I hand it to Dojima and sit on the stool, facing away.

I guess I forgot how nice it feels to have someone scrub away the dirt you can't reach well yourself. The stuff you can't take care of. _I missed that—_

_That feeling of someone caring that you're a mess._

Unlike the others, Dojima doesn't bother commenting on how skinny or muscular I've gotten. I'm glad. He already knows how I look; the old marks that line my skin from being inept at healing magic—Not that he'd ever listen to any of the stuff about shadows and demons.

I don't know if I'm really dirty or what, but it's a long time before Dojima steps back and hands me the cloth. He really worked a few spots. _I was probably pretty nasty._

I confirm my hunch by looking at the now-darkened cloth.

"I'll go," Dojima tells me. He looks away when I turn to tell him he can stay if he wants. The words don't come out, though because he's looking so uneasy.

"Okay," I reply, going back to cleaning myself.

"I left a towel by the door," he gestures. "Put it on and call Nanako if you want her to cut your hair." I nod.

"Thanks." He nervously laughs a little. "She was trying to figure out something she could do for you."

"It's fine," I assure him. I smile at him before turning away to rinse off. "Done."

Dojima stumbles backwards toward the door. "O-oh. Sorry. Heh."

"Why?" I ask, retrieving the towel. I dry off and wait for an answer. When I don't get one, I step towards him. "Why are you being so anxious around me now?" I demand.

Dojima frowns. I can tell he isn't sure what to say, so I sigh. "Look," I start. "You don't have to act like prison screwed me up. All the screwing up happened  _before_  I even went there. You know that. I know that. The whole of Japan knows  _that_. Just act normal." I knot the towel around my waist and put a hand on his shoulder. He peers down at me, still unsure.

"Really," I affirm, nodding.

_You're not making this easier._

I hold my arms out, still annoyed, attempting to show Dojima it's okay to hug me. I'm not going to break. I don't realize I've been holding my breath until I release it when he finally close his arms around me.

I inwardly groan.  _Why am I like that?_

Though I'd be caught murdering again before I'd admit it, I _do_ think I missed hugs, too.

He backs away before I'm really done, reminding me that Nanako's waiting. Right.

_I think I'd rather keep my bangs, but..._

I nod again when he tells me he'll send her in. I go back to sitting on the stool and wait in silence.

"Adachi-san," I hear her sing my name as she enters the room. "Is there a specific style you want?"

I shake my head and she starts to comb out the snarls I missed. "I'll make it like before then, okay?" I nod and she laughs. "Keep your head still."

So I shake my head harder and she giggles. I smile contentedly, enjoying the sound.

I also like the noise of the snipping, but I tense when I start to see the long, wavy locks falling around me. I didn't realize I even had that much hair!

"I'd rather have my eyes covered," I quietly admit.

"Don't," she tells me. "They look cool on you." I whip around to search her face for a sign that she's lying. I don't see any.

"You _have_ to be lying," I chastise.

She shakes her head. "No, really. Besides, you don't have to see anybody you don't want to now." I shrug and we go back to the easy silence.

After a while, Nanako tells me it's done. "Go take a look," she says. "Let me know if you want me to change anything."

The first thing I notice is that I look a lot more like I remember myself from the last time I was here. _That's good._

I don't like how much you can see my eyes, though. The shiny yellow really sticks out. _I look sick._

"What do you think?" Nanako asks.

"I like it," I reply.

_And I do. It's myself I don't like._

She beams and washes the scissors in the sink. "I'll be out in a second," she says. "Bet you haven't had a bath in a while."

I smile, happy that at least  _she_  can still joke with me.

"Want me to send Dad back in?" Nanako smirks. The brat actually  _smirks_!

I raise an eyebrow, questioning.

"You know I'm not stupid," she replies, sighing. "I don't know why he always dances around the fact that you're—you know—" she waves her hands around, searching for a way to make her point. "Together."

My mouth falls open.

 _I didn't know she knew. I'm not surprised—I never tried to hide it—but that doesn't mean I know what to say._ So I just grin a little at her and she smiles back.

I break the eye contact and sigh. Run a hand through my freshly cut hair. "He seems different, though. Like he's not comfortable around me."

Nanako tilts her head, considering. "I think he just needs time. It was all a lot."

I nod. She  _is_  a smart kid. I have to give her that.

"Yeah," I decide. "Tell him he can join me if he wants."

Then I remember the  _important_  thing—"Oh, Nanako!"

"What?"

"Tomorrow..." I muse. "Tomorrow. Come with me please. Get someone else to drag your dad away from the house."  _I don't trust Yuu, but that's just going to upset you_... "I want somebody I trust."

_It's honest, at least. I do trust her._

Another smile creeps onto Nanako's face. She nods and walks out the door.

 _Damn_. Now she's gonna push Dojima in here. Why is it always on me to make the first move?  _Fucking bashful old tsundere..._

I shed the towel, hanging it on a hook near the tub. It has been a long time since I went in a nice, steaming bath.

I swing my legs over he side and let myself sink to the bottom. "Aah." I sigh overwhelmed by the heat.  _This is the best!_

I relax, but only for a minute, because I soon hear the door click shut again and know Dojima must've come back. His jumpiness is making me freaking paranoid.

He pokes his head in the shower room. "Do you want me to come in?"

I feel a big sigh building, but I bite it back. "Do you  _want_  to get in?" I counter.

His eyes shift around. _Make up your damn mind._

Finally he retreats back into the other room and I can hear the sounds of clothes coming off. I relax again, waiting for him to shower, probably complaining the whole time, too.

I'm surprised at his silence while he washes up. I study the maimed mess of scars and discolorment still visible on his shoulder and back. I'm sure not to let him notice, turning my attention back to the broiling water in the tub.

When he walks over to the bath and I squish to the side. "It _is_ a big tub," I mumble. It can easily hold two people. _I guess that's what you get when you have a family. I wouldn't know._

"What?" Dojima asks, his voice laced with self-consciousness. I must have a strange look on my face.

I shake my head, wrapping my arms around my legs. I dunk my head under the water, knowing Dojima is watching me closely, unsure of what I'm doing.  _I'm taking a minute to collect my thoughts, you know._

I pop back up, splashing water everywhere. Dojima flinches back at the spray and I snicker.

He sighs and decisively chuckles a little.

Then we slip back into the not-quite-comfortable silence.

Dojima keeps reaching up to his face every minute or so, then frowns and replaces his hand.  _What the hell is he doing?_

He finally notices my staring and shrugs. "I should've brought in a cigarette."

"Nasty," I gag. "You even smoke in the tub? I don't think I knew that."

"It's new," Dojima admits, rolling his eyes.

This is a good opportunity: "What else is new?" I ask, interested.

He turns away from my stare. It's probably the eyes.

"Nothing, really."

_Okay—_

_I can't stand it._

" _Is_  it my eyes?" I enjoin, feeling hurt flare up. "If it is, you need to tell me."

"Huh?" He faces me again, and I can see that he looks taken aback. "Why would you think that?" Dojima asks in surprise. "It's got nothing to do with your eyes—I mean—" he backpedals. "It does, but not the way you're thinking."

He scratches his face. "It's more that I forgot what it feels like when you stare at me. Your eyes are always so serious, even when you're not... It's intense."

"Oh," I falter, the aggravation knocked right out of me. Now  _I'm_  embarrassed. I didn't know he thought that. "I don't have to look at you, you know," I quip.

"No," he quickly replies. "I like it—" he pauses, eyes widening.

"BFFT!" I snigger. He twists his head away, clearly embarrassed now. I'm two-hundred percent certain. "Aww, come on," I try. He doesn't turn back.

After more than a minute—it feels like an eternity—I finally reach out and wrap my arms around Dojima's torso, pulling him over to my side of the tub.

"What—?" he gasps, whipping his head around. "Hey!"

I stare blankly. "Can I not do this?"

"...You can," he replies. "I was just surprised." He shrugs. "It's not like I mind or anything."

"That's good," I exhale into his back and lean my head down.

We sit like that until the water gets cold.

"I hate getting out of the tub," I sulk, knowing he's itching to get up.

"Have to sometime," Dojima replies. He rises and gets his towel. Then he picks mine up, holding it out for me. I smile automatically and stand to take it.

Back in my room, I sit on the futon, ready to pass out. But I want to address his stuffiness.  _Shit_ , I know from experience  _he_  certainly won't.

"So," I sigh, when Dojima sits on the couch. "How long am I exiled for?" I fan my arms around at the futon and the crammed way all my crap is stuffed into this tiny bedroom.

His face falls. "It's not like that."

"Yeah?" I ask, reaching for one of the melon sodas on the coffee table. "Then tell me what exactly  _is_  going on."

Now he does grab a cigarette, also taking out a pack of matches. "No—" I start, aggravated.

"Hmm?" he asks around the paper stick in his mouth, puzzled.

I push my lighter across table and he takes it, shoving the matches back in his pocket. He's a bit red, probably not from the fire.

I patiently let him take a few drags on the cigarette before he starts talking. "We need to start over." He stares at me seriously, his brows coming together like he's trying to say something tough. I can't say I didn't see it coming, so I just nod for him to go on. "I want us to get this right, so we should just try and get to know each other and take our time figuring this out."

Am I being dumped? After I  _moved in_  here?

_That's..._

_Beyond bizarre._

"Huh?" I let the sound anxiously escape my throat.

He rubs his temple; nervously taps his foot. "We could redo this and make it better. We don't need to rush back to where we were."

"Am I being dumped?" Might as well just ask outright.

" _What_?!" he sputters, almost spitting the cigarette to the floor. "No, moron!" he gruffly asserts. "No. No!"

I fall onto my back. "Then just explain it so I understand. And I don't know what you're used to, but people don't usually take baths together on a first date."

"Oi," he warns. "I didn't mean go all the way back, just start somewhere comfortable." He's wearing that pissed-off look he gets when someone finishes the coffee. "Don't you want time to get used to being back, sleeping in your own bed? Having your own space?"

I groan loudly, making sure he can tell I'm getting aggravated. "I told you not to feed me any of that tortured-ex-con crap. I'm fine."

Dojima sighs, snorting a big cloud of smoke. "Then let  _me_  just get used to this, alright?"

"Uh-huh," I noncommittally reply.

 _Man I'm tired._  I pull the covers up to try and sleep.

Dojima rises, extinguishing the cigarette in an ashtray. "I'll just be down the hall if you need me."

"Yeah," I roll my eyes. "Because silence feels normal to me."

"Ugh," he replies. But he does retrace his steps, sits back down. "I'll just stay over here for tonight."

"Your choice," I tell him, getting settled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to point out that, Adachi never had a healing ability in canon, but since he is the inverted Fool, he should have wild card abilities. for the purposes of this story, he is able to contract with and summon other personas/shadows/demons. There is more to it, but that will be explained in-story during later chapters. In today's chapter, he mentions he's inept at healing. He has tried using dia a number of times, but (I'm saying he) was crap at it because his pre-Mukidashite, in-game stats were phys-stacked. I also like the symbolism of scars. And crazy Adachi probably likes scars, anyway.  
> I would like to warn that with the chapter coming tomorrow, I have begun taking liberties with everyone's suspended disbelief. I am taking canon ideas from both Persona and generalized SMT into account in terms of abilities/powers, demons/shadows/personas, and lore. I have only played the Persona and Devil Survivor series, but have freaking COMBED the SMT Wiki trying to find interesting plot devices as well as to learn their facts. So while this story is headed somewhat off-the-tracks in terms of canon-Personaness, I do make it clear that the story-world is changing, like how Teddie senses things are weird.  
> Re-Edited 6/7/17


	3. Into the Woods (Teddie)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First time with Teddie's POV! His bubbliness adds something cute to the tone. He's become more certain of himself and even gets to play Leader for this expedition!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for sticking with me! I hope everyone enjoys reading Teddie as much as I enjoyed writing him! He has another chapter later on. I have nine chapters finalized and will continue posting one a day. I am up to thirteen in total, but the ones after nine need work. I hope I can finish this section soon!! I couldn't wait any longer to start posting~

Chapter Three: Into the Woods

(Teddie) 

"You're gonna be good today, right Bear?" Kanji asks me.

I beam at him, crossing my legs over the dashboard. "You know it~"

"Don't be all over Nanako and Adachi."

I nod, shaking my whole upper body for emphasis.

"And don't call him Aniki-chan," he orders. "It's frikkin' creepy and he doesn't like it."

"Nooooo," I moan. "He's like me now. I'm calling him that." I fold my arms. "I've never had a brother before!"

"Oh man," Kanji gripes. "Just try to act normal." He's quiet for a minute, but then asks a favor. I  _love_  favors! "Do keep an eye on them, though, Ted."

"Mm-hmm!" I sit up, ready for action! "Of course I'll protect everyone!"

"If I'm not coming, I don't wanna get back and have everyone not talking to each other, okay?"

I wave my hand in a salute and Kanji shakes his head at me. I love making him laugh.

We park on the side of the road and I jump out of the car. Kanji is going to take Dojima to the bookstore, today. Nanako asked Kanji to make him go somewhere so she can come with the rest of us into the TV. She's never been before, so I'm really,  _really_  excited! She told her dad she can't go with them because she has to finish a school report someone dropped the ball on.

I turn the door handle and kick off my shoes. "Ted-aima!" I call, enjoying my pun.

I hear Dojima groan and see him drop his head onto the table. "Morning!" I waggle my fingers and grab a bowl for rice and soup. The others always look at me funny, but I like to mix them directly.

"How are you doing this wonderful morning, Dojima-san?!" I take a seat next to him with my food.

"Fine," he raises his head. "You're not going to bother Nanako, are you? She's working right now."

"Of course not!" I tell him. "I do want to see Aniki-chan, though."

Dojima snorts. "He's asleep."

I look at the watch Kanji got me. "But it's—" I stop. "Wait. Whaaaat?!"

Dojima leans over and twists my arm. "It's upside down again, kid," he tells me.

 _Poop_. I fix it and announce that's it's already eleven. Kanji drops down onto another chair and looks around at us.

"Ted, I fed you," he complains.

I drink the rest of the soup. "I like theirs better," I smile at Dojima and he pulls the paper up so he can't see me.

"You not ready yet?" Kanji scolds him, yanking the paper back down.

"I wanted..." Kanji stares expectantly. He sighs. "I wanted to at least wait until Adachi wakes up."

"Man no!" Kanji tells him. "We gotta get going or they're gonna sell out of the new book I want. That's what happens when there's only one bookstore! His lazy ass will sleep all day if you let him!"

"I'll go wake him," Dojima grumbles, setting down the paper. He plods up the stairs and Kanji turns to me.

"Wash that," he says. I puff out my cheeks in defiance, but clean it in the sink. He pulls out his phone. "I'm gonna tell Yukiko to get their butts over here." I watch him type slowly on his old phone.

"This'll be great!" I smile. "I haven't been back to my hometown in so long!"

Kanji drags a hand down his face. "Magatsu-Inaba isn't your hometown."

I get right up in his face, challenging him. "My. Town."

"Teddie!" he groans. "It literally means 'evil Inaba'. Just say Inaba is your hometown."

"But," I try. "This makes me sound like a traveler!"

Kanji groans again, in a crappy mood, and stands. "Ojisan!" he hollers up the stairs. "We gotta move!"

Dojima clomps down the stairs a second later, and they both put on their shoes. "Let the others be," he warns me before shutting the door behind himself and Kanji.

I quickly text Yuki and dash up the stairs.

"Aniki-chan!" I yell, ripping open Adachi's door.

"Waah!" he yells and falls over, in the middle of pulling on shorts.

I hear Nanako giggling as she comes towards the room. "What?" I ask.

"Dammit, you scared me!" Adachi roars. "Get the hell out so I can change!"

"Aww," I whine but step back to the hallway.

"Hi, Teddie," Nanako greets me, poking my back.

"Mornin'!" I brightly reply. "You ready for today?! This is where I'm from!" I can feel a big smile on my face, and she returns it with one of her own.

"Yeah!" Nanako nods. "I'm sure it'll be really cool." We don't mention the fact that we're only going to destroy it, but I guess that's just how things have to be.

Adachi finally opens his door and calls us in.

"Sit," he commands. I listen immediately and plop down on the couch. I notice he's set his big-screen television on the floor so it'll be easier to go into.  _Smart_!

We're using Adachi's TV because he has the biggest one and it can go directly to where we need to be.

"What's wrong?" Nanako asks.

"Today," he begins. "Seriously. Don't leave me alone with Narukami." _He looks angry..._

I nod right away. "Got it~ I'll stick by Aniki-chan's side all day!"

Nanako just stares Adachi down. "Get along," she demands. "You can stick with us, but you have to at least get along, alright?"

Adachi nods, giving in a little.

We hear the others call from downstairs and Nana shouts to come up here. When Yuu and Yukiko enter the room, we all exchange greetings, and then get right down to business.

_I get anxious when I realize everyone's staring at me!_

"Oh-okay!" I try. "Today we'll be entering Magatsu-Inaba through Aniki-chan's TV and sealing off the exits." I point to the television, hoping to catch everyone up. "It'll be a quick mission, and we have till the others get back... In maybe three hours. If we can't finish, we will make a plan to continue next time."

I meet each person's gaze, assessing they're helpfulness. "Today will be Nana-chan's TV World Debut, so we have to be careful that she doesn't get sick," I caution the others.

"Oh..." I've realized something. "Did Aniki-chan ever get sick after his first time on the other side?"

"Huh?" Adachi scoffs. "Why would I get sick?"

"Everyone but myself was bedridden for a few days from the strain of awakening their personas," Yuu explains.

"Hah," Adachi mocks. "Weak." Yuu glares at him, but lets it go.

"Actually," Yukiko adds, turning to Adachi. "How did you get back out of there on your own? We needed Teddie to pull us out."

"I don't know," Adachi huffs. "It would just happen when I wanted to go back. It’s easy if you're—" He closes his mouth when he catches Nanako's unamused expression.

_I can do that!_

"Like me!" I squeal. Yukiko and Yuu nod in agreement.

"Are we ready?" I ask them all.

They nod in turn. "Then let's get going~" I grab Nana-chan's hand and pull her along with me. "Just jump at it when I do," I instruct. She nods, still not quite believing she'll actually land in a different world. "I won't let go. Promise!" I grin disarmingly at Nana and leap feet-first at the large screen.

I feel the familiar sensation of falling through mud until we break through to the other side. Then the falling gets a lot faster.

I'm glad I got so much taller, because I can hold Nanako like I'm picking her up. It's hard to land on your feet the first time.

"We're here!" I shout. I see her blink a few times, uncomprehending what happened. I set her gently on her feet. "This is the TV World." I sweep my arm around, encouraging her to take in the strange place.

"Wow," Nanako breathes. "It's similar, but darker. And creepier." She giggles at that last part.

I smile back, relishing the familiar feeling. There are bits of fog drifting around, but not nearly as much as before. I can hear the others coming down the chute. It sounds like a big whooshing.

Yuki lands nearby, followed by Adachi and then Yuu.

Yuu speaks first. "There's fog."

I nod. "It's not bad, but there is a little. Did you bring your glasses?" He and Yukiko put theirs on and glance around, able to see a bit better. "Do you guys need glasses?" I ask Nanako and Adachi.

They both shake their heads, unsure.

"Why?" Adachi asks. "I only need them when I read." Yukiko laughs a little too much earning herself a glare from the man in question.

"They need them to see through the fog," I explain to the newbies.

Nanako shakes her head. "What fog?" she innocently asks.

Yuu's jaw drops. "You don't see fog?" he asks, disbelief ringing his words.

"I can see some mist, but it's not really fog."

Adachi nods. "It never really bothered me."

They are different.

They  _are_!

"Well," I cut off any more questions. "If they're fine, let's go seal off the Amagi Inn, the Shopping District, and then take care of this bit last." Better to start with the farthest away. "We need to take care of anything that parallels the real world so shadows and things can't get out."

Everyone nods, and I lead the way to the first area.

When we arrive in the replica of what was Yamano's room, everyone is quiet. "This is where everything goes parallel. So we need to go back through that tunnel and block it." They nod their assent, and we make our way back through the strange bit of nothingness. I don't drop Nana's hand for a second during these trips. I would hold Adachi's too, but he doesn't seem bothered by any of this...

 _I mean he did create it all._ I chew on my lip, wondering what kind of a person could do this. I want to know more about him because he feels so familiar, but he wasn't nice at all.

Back on solid ground, I do drop Nanako's hand and hold both of mine out to Adachi. "Help me," I demand. He looks at me stupidly. "I've never done this before and you have a lot more power."

_And I'm a little worried it'll feel like losing a piece of myself._

"He does?" Yuu breaks into my thoughts.

"Huh?" I ask. "Well yeah, you didn't notice?" Adachi is glaring at me. "What?"

"He said he can't even summon his persona anymore," Yuu declares.

That's probably true, but I think there's more to it. "Well, Magatsu-Izanagi is gone," I tell Yuu.  _I don't want either mad at me..._  "But that doesn't mean he's powerless." It feels like a good compromise. They both glare at me for another minute, but then Yuu sighs and Adachi grabs my hands, looking like he wants to get this over with.

I give Adachi instructions, and then we both work our magic while the red doorway starts to glow brighter. I close my eyes, but can feel its heat until it feels like I'm on fire. Then it goes dark with a thumping feeling.

I can feel my knees go weak and I'm starting to fall over, but Adachi grips my hands tighter so I can stay up. When I finally open my eyes, he looks completely disinterested, but eases his grip as I balance on my own. I smile up at the taller man. "Thanks."

He makes a derisive noise and drops my hands, shoving his own in his pockets.

"Next!" I call.

We take care of a few individual areas in the shopping district, and then close off the whole thing altogether.

_It hurts a little. Like someone died..._

_I've never seen someone die, but I think this is what it would be like._

I think it'll get better when we go back outside, back to the house, but right now it feels like a hole inside me.

As we trudge around the weird stage where I first met my friends, Nana walks beside me and takes my hand. "I'm happy I got to see this, Teddie," she smiles a little.

I sigh, my shoulders slumping. "Thanks, Nana-chan."

"Are you okay?"

I nod. "Just tired. Only one left!"

Nanako and I walk back over to the others.

"Okay!" I yell. "We'll take care of this from Aniki-chan's entrance area, warping out while we work."

We gather around the area where we all came in. I hold out one hand to the others. Yuu takes it, offering his own to the girls. I lock eyes with Adachi, who should occupy the other end of the line. "You seal while I take us back," I tell him. He nods slightly, warily accepting Nanako's small hand.

"Close your eyes," I tell them.

With my own eyes squeezed shut, I concentrate on getting everyone out at the right moment. Too soon and it won't work right.

It starts to feel really hot again. I hear someone gasp, and know it must be bad. I take us away.

We pop out of the rippling glass one by one, everyone landing roughly on their bums because we're still holding hands.

I feel so tired. "G'night," I hear myself say to the others, loosening my grip on Yuu's hand.

"Teddie?" someone calls my name.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Re-Edited 6/7/17


	4. Through the Rabbit Hole (Nanako)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nanako heals Teddie and has a meaningful chat with Adachi. The next day she wonders what's actually going on up in his head.

Chapter Four: Through the Rabbit Hole

(Nanako)

"Aah!" I scream, looking around at the others. "Teddie!" He looks so worn out.

Yuu-kun and Yukiko are conferring among themselves, but I'm too worried to sit still. Before I realize what I'm doing, I grab my friend's hand and feel something flow between our connection.

"Waah!" Teddie screams, bolting upright like he's waking up from a nightmare. "Sarasosha!" he yells.

"Wh-what?" Big Bro stumbles forward, confused.

"I saw it!" Teddie insists. "It's true!"

Adachi's peering at me from the corner of the room, out of the chaos. I can tell he wants to talk to me, but I'm surrounded by the others, who are already questioning me rapid-fire.

Finally Yukiko tells Big Bro and Teddie to back off a bit. "Let her breathe, you guys! She might pass out next."

"Why?" I ask her. "I feel fine." That quiets them all.

"It's probably because she went over to that side that it's manifesting now," Adachi surmises.

Yuu-kun wheels on him, advancing as he speaks. "Yes, I heard you were testing her abilities whenever she visited you."

Teddie jumps between them. "Well wouldn't you wanna know what's going on instead of having her figure it out all on her own?" he asks, looking pretty nervous. Yuu-kun just glares at Adachi, but backs away.

"Well, why don't we figure this out later," I ask. You guys have to get going before Dad gets back or he'll be wondering why you're all here."

Yukiko nods and pulls Big Bro out of Adachi's room. I can hear her talking to him all the way down the stairs. When we finally hear the front door click shut, Teddie jumps on the couch, looking worn out.

"You healed me, Nana-chan! I feel so happy~" he closes his eyes. "Now just let me rest..."

"Hey no!" Adachi whines at him. "Go sleep downstairs or something."

I laugh. "Let him be, Adachi-san. I'll make some lunch if you come down with me."

"Okay," he relents. I close the window because it'll get chilly when the sun goes down, and then lead Adachi down the stairs.

"What do you want?" I ask him, rummaging around in the fridge.

Adachi sighs and slumps down on a dining room chair, facing me. "Anything's fine. It all beats the crap I've been fed up till now. Your cooking's so good~" he gives me a big smile.

_Now I get the nice Adachi, huh? After he wore out the angry one with the others..._

"Mmh. Cold soba okay?"

He nods eagerly, and I put on a pot to boil. I root around for the tsuyu ingredients, then pull out a saucepan. After I light the stove, I look over at Adachi. I get the feeling he wants to tell me something because he keeps staring.

"What is it?" I ask him.

"If," he falters and pauses. "If we're going to live like this form now on. You can just call me Tohru—I don't mind." He's looking down like he expects that I'm going reject the idea.

I feel myself smiling instead. "Hmm," I try and he looks up at the warmness in my voice. "That's good... But how about Tohru-jisan?"

He looks dumbfounded, just opening and closing his mouth a few times before he speaks. "Like 'uncle'?" he eventually asks me.

I nod. "It's good, right?"

Tohru quickly returns the gesture, like I'll change my mind before he can respond otherwise.

After the food's done, I go tell Tohru to wake Teddie while I carry everything to the low table. Dad and Kanji bang through the door as the other two are coming back down the stairs.

"What'd you get?" I ask the guys, grabbing more plates.

"Light novels," Kanji admits and Teddie 'ooh's in approval.

Dad frowns, like he'd rather not tell us. "What is it?" I prod.

"They rereleased some Yokomizo novels..." he sets the bag on the table and I pull out the one on top, peeling back the store's paper cover to see which one it is.

I move on to the others. "Your favorites," I smile.

"Yeah," he grumbles, putting them away in the living room. "I don't need new copies, but they're nice editions."

We all grab our food and move to the low table. Dinner is easy as we all chat and slurp our noodles.

\---***---

_Morning..._

I climb out of bed and stretch my back. I check my phone and answer a text from Teddie. He probably isn't up yet, as it's only seven, but he'll get it when he does wake.

I change and wonder what I'll do with my day off.

_I'm glad I got to skip school yesterday and see everyone. I wonder who's coming by today. Maybe Big Bro will stop in before he leaves, but I know he'll return to Inaba soon anyway. He seems really tense about Tohru living here._

I pad downstairs, wondering if Tohru is even up yet. I do know Dad's friend is coming today.

_I hope it goes well..._

_I doubt Sakamoto likes Tohru. I still don't know the whole story, but he did kill people._

I should find out sometime—What actually happened. Dad doesn't seem to care, which makes me doubt he's that bad.

But Tohru can look really mean sometimes, too. He doesn't look at me like that, but I see it with Yuu-kun and the others. Like they're way beneath him.

"Morning, Dad," I call, picking my mug off the shelf. I pour some coffee and grab a bowl of soup.

"Get chopsticks," he tells me. "I made fish." I nod sleepily and take a pair from the drawer.

"When's Sakamoto-sama coming?" I ask, taking a seat.

Dad checks his watch. "He didn't give me a time. He knows I'm up so early, though... So anytime, I guess." He shrugs, not really bothered.

"Do you want to wake Tohru-jisan?" I inquire. Dad stares at me squarely. "You know you're going to be angry if he looks messy," I point out.

"So when did this 'jisan' stuff start?" he deflects.

I put down my bowl. "Yesterday."

"Uh-huh," he replies.

"You want me to just call him Adachi-san forever?"

Dad sighs. "You know you don't need to forgive him so easily just because I do," he says in a practiced way. He turns to face me. "You should know that," he emphasizes.

"I'm alright," I shake my head. "I'm not bothered by any of this. I'm actually enjoying talking to him. It's nice having someone else around."

Dad's forehead creases like he isn't sure how to say what he wants to tell me.

"What?" I ask, knowing he isn't going to answer any of my old questions. "Someone's going to have to explain it eventually. Until then, I'll deal with things my own way."

"Just do whatever makes you comfortable," he says after a pause, ending the conversation.

I nod and go back to my food.

While I'm washing my dishes, I hear the doorbell. I glance over at Dad who goes to open it, looking at me as though he's just realizing he never woke Tohru. I roll my eyes and cross to the stairs. I hear the two greeting each other as I hurry up.

I knock on Tohru's door a few times, but don't get an answer. Unsure, I open it nonetheless. The sight I'm greeted with makes me shut the door behind me, worried the others will hear the fuss.

He's still asleep on the futon— _I think._ He's writhing and covered in sweat. He twists around frantically, finally smacking his arm on the coffee table with a loud  _whunk_. He's making panicked little noises, and his face is all contorted.

Not wanting to get whacked, I squat by his feet. "Tohru-jisan!" I ask loudly. There isn't a response.

_He looks so scared..._

I try again, but finally retreat from the bedroom to grab a cup of cold water from the bathroom. I quickly walk it back, hoping the others are getting along all right downstairs.

I take a deep breath and toss the cold water as far as I can. It lands along his chest and neck, making Tohru bolt upright immediately. As he works to catch his breath, the rage in his eyes fizzles quickly to surprise when he realizes it's just me.

"You were having a nightmare," I confess. He nods. "I didn't know how to wake you."

He shakes his head again and lies back down.

"Er—No!" I call. "You have to get up, the chief is here."

Tohru moans and sits up again. "You said I don't have to see anybody I don't want to."

I roll my eyes, considering. "I don't think Sakamoto-sama _hates_ you, you know."

"Oh I doubt that, Nana-chan," Tohru chides, squinting to find the right little box of pills on the table.

"You think Dad would've had him over if he did?" I counter.

Tohru snaps his mouth shut, wanting to argue about yesterday, but clearly not bring up Big Bro's attitude and fight with me this early in his morning. He grunts and swallows a bunch of chalky-looking pills without a drink.

He sighs after, but stands and picks out an innocuous tank top and a pair of shorts. He pulls them on and sits back down, stalling.

"It'll be fine," I try to assure him. He continues to eye me warily.

I motion for Tohru to come with me back downstairs, and his eyes zip around the room. He snatches an old Gameboy from the TV table and slides it into his pocket. He winks at me and makes a shushing gesture, keeping a poker face the whole time. I have to laugh as he slides by me, but I feel a prickle of worry when he waves a hand over his face and it morphs into the goofy grin he always used to wear.

Before I can question the change, he's starting down the stairs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Re-Edited 6/7/17


	5. Manzai (Ryoutarou)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adachi gets mad that Dojima treats him differently around Sakamoto. Dojima reflects on how other people see them and why he is so uncomfortable. It may be more than the fact that Adachi was the murderer. (Internalized oppression, ladies and gentleman!)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to get more into the whole "huh, I'm not exactly straight, I guess..." thing later on. I'm interested in writing a little about how sexuality is treated (or ignored) in Japan! I have a few experiences from my own time there, and always love a chance to write older characters grappling with what's going on. More on that after we completely jump the rails in a few chapters! Be excited!!!

Chapter Five: Manzai

(Ryoutarou)

"I'm sure you'll see that everything is normal and feel much better," I assure Sakamoto, pouring him a cup of coffee. I hear offbeat clomping on the stairs and know Tohru is finally among the living. I take down a second guest mug and fill it for him, as well.

"'Morning," I say to Tohru, as he busies himself with plating breakfast.

"Hey," he replies not bothering to turn around. It's good he's acting normal but I do wish he would at least acknowledge our guest.

I place one mug in front of Sakamoto, who thanks me, and tell Tohru I'm putting his on the table. Nanako is just settling into the couch with a book, when Tohru has his first outburst.

"This isn't mine," he jokingly declares, setting down his food and whisking up the cup of black coffee to dump it into his regular mug—

_The one that matches mine and Nanako's._

I snap around to give him a look that says to drop it, but he only narrows his eyes and takes it as a challenge.

_Crap._

_Shit._

_I'll even venture to say fuck..._

_This is not starting well._

When I turn back to Sakamoto, he's throwing me a questioning look of his own. "The matching mugs are...  _Cute_."

"Right?!" Tohru gushes, dropping into the chair next to me.

_I could slap him. I'm clearly trying to maintain an appropriate distance._

"Yup," Sakamoto replies, turning back to smile sarcastically at me, then returning his gaze to Tohru. "How have you been?" he amiably asks, even manages to crack a smile.

Tohru is happy to play right along. "Oh, you know," he begins, his tone oozing with obsequiousness. "The vacation was spectacular, but now it's back to the grind!"

I have a perfect view of Nanako trying to suppress a bout of laughter as she pulls her book up to hide her face.

"Mmhm," Sakamoto nods, as if they're all in on a joke. "And are we feeling better?"

"Peachy!" Tohru grins and raises his mug. "I could really get used to being part of a family."

"Mmm!" Sakamoto enthusiastically replies, taking a gulp of his coffee.

I reach for a cigarette and my matches, but before I can strike one, Tohru has his damn lighter lit in front of my face.

_I am definitely not going to snap._

_Not going to lose it._

But I  _am_  getting a migraine.

I learn forward so I can light the smoke and take a large drag, exhaling a large cloud that hangs over the table. "Are you two morons done?"

The other two men look at me innocently for a long minute.

Sakamoto finally breaks the silence. "Okay then, who wants to tell me what the fuck is really going on here?" he soberingly demands.

I see Nanako shoot Tohru a look that seems warning, but I'm not positive how much she knows.

Tohru sighs and looks back to Sakamoto, his old boss. He drops the false smile and asks what the chief really wants to know.

"Why did you come back here?" Sakamoto probes. "A place like Inaba isn't going to be happy seeing a person of interest crawling back." Tohru doesn't even wince at his sharp words.

He simply replies with a straight-faced attempt to fish for information of his own. "And why do you think someone like me would return?"

Sakamoto motions he wants a refill and I grudgingly carry the cup to the counter. "You certainly seem awfully chummy with the Dojimas."

I don't like not seeing what Tohru's showing in his expression, and wish I said the pot was empty.

"Hmm," Tohru intones. "I seem chummy with Ryou—" I turn around and Nanako is already motioning for him to cut it out. I practically run the cup back to the table, almost spilling the coffee. He glances at Nanako and reigns himself in a little. He pretends like he's perking up and replaces the worn smile. "I can't help it if they like me," he coolly replies. I stub out my cigarette, wishing he would shut the hell up.

"Well I'll be keeping my eye on you," Sakamoto tells Tohru, who leans over to sling an arm around me.

I glare at him. "Adachi." His mask slips for a second and I see hurt mixing with too much indignance.

Sakamoto nods evenly and swivels around in his seat. "Anything to add, Nanako-chan?"

"I'm fine with whatever Dad wants," is her usual reply. "He's like an uncle, anyway. You don't always get along with family."

"That's... _Mature._ " Sakamoto takes it in thoughtfully. "And you know, I have a present for you, Nanako-chan. How about we go out back?" Nanako nods and bookmarks her progress. "Am I like an uncle?" Sakamoto tests.

"Sorry," Nanako shakes her head apologetically.

After they exit through the sliding door, I smack the back of Tohru's head. "Moron!"

"Oww!" he whines.

I raise my eyebrows, dumping his untouched black coffee into my own mug. "I've seen you break your own finger and not bat an eye. Save me the performance!"

Tohru folds his arms, pouting and letting his real feelings show through his light-colored eyes once again. I wince. "It was really that bad?" I ask, genuinely surprised.

"And here I thought police weren't supposed to be liars..."

"You know that was a stupid stunt you were trying to pull," I counter, draining the bitter coffee in one swig. "You want him to think I've cracked up?" I slam my cup down on the table. "Because showing clear intimacy with the perpetrator of your last big case is a good way to get taken off the force." I know I'm raising my voice, but I feel too pent-up to care.

Tohru is still glaring, but he simply rises and starts to retreat.

"What do you want me to do?" I yell after him.

Halfway to the stairs, Tohru turns to flip me off.

When I can no longer see him, Tohru shoots one last remark down to me. "How will you play this in five more years, when I'm out of the closet?"

_Oh yeah._

_Ha ha._

_Funny how other people look at us…_

I'm still fuming as take all the mugs to the sink and decide to go for a walk. I grab my keys, feeling sorry to leave Nanako with Sakamoto, but at the same time unable to face another inquisition.

In sneakers for a change, I quickly head further out of town at a good clip.

_I thought he knew this was between us. I think Nanako knows, and some of the kids clearly do, but that's as far as it goes._

There's no sane way to explain it to anyone who doesn't know us well. And certainly no way at all to explicate it to people from the station.

_I really hadn't thought very far ahead..._

I've been so looking forward to spending normal time with Tohru again that I hadn’t thought much farther than this damn week. It's only the second day and we're fighting, back to oil and water.

_Shit!_

I kick a rock, realizing I've made it to the edge of the woods already. _Too hot to run in pants, unfortunately._

I choose a path and start down it, planning to loop back around within the hour. I don't want to leave a mess behind me for too long.

It  _is_  a mess, dammit.

_I need to figure out a way to stay under the radar while making Tohru happy. If he's upset with me, he'll make damn sure I suffer too._

_And yeah; okay. I don't like him upset. I can at least admit it to myself._

I'm not too far up the trail when my phone goes off. I huff and turn on speakerphone.

"Where the hell'd you go?" Sakmoto yells. "We were only outside for about twenty minutes..."

"Walk," I reply neutrally.

I can hear him snort. "This your usual walking hour? You go take a dump in the woods?"

"Uh-huh."

"That's what I figured." Headache's getting stronger. I rub my temple and wait for him to finish. "I'm not a dope. Meet me at Aiya's—We need to chat."

"Half-hour," I reply. "You are right about the woods part."

Sakamoto grunts and hangs up. I shove the cell back in my pocket and head back towards town. I'll bypass my house and make it in to town quicker. I don't need the car.

\---***---

Aiya's is thankfully busy, and Sakamoto has already snagged a booth near the back. I wave to that girl always at the counter, signaling I want a beef bowl, then hold my hand up in greeting as I slide onto the opposite bench.

"Liquor or coffee?" is my first question to Sakamoto. "I only take two drinks. One for work and one for not-work."

He chortles and tells me he already ordered a bottle of sake. _Fine by me._

"So start with the eyes," Sakamoto demands after we're brought the steaming carafe and cups. I sigh and take what he passes me.

"I really don't have a clue."

Sakamoto considers, looking thoughtful as he sips at the hot drink. "Are you positive they're not contacts and he's fucking with everyone?"

I have to laugh at that. "It's truly absurd how much everyone thinks I do or don't know." I take a pull from my own undersized cup. "Either people feel bad for me: the man who was duped by his lunatic partner."

I look my old friend in the eye. "Or like you, they believe I know every lurid detail and I'm foolishly protecting a madman. Well it's neither. You've heard that shit he was spouting about another world. He's screwed up, but he's not a bad kid. I'm sure it's treatable—He's taking the meds. And he was good in the prison. He deserves a friend to help him put the pieces back together."

Sakamoto's expression doesn't change, as he 'mmhmm's me quietly. I take a bigger swig off the hot drink and hold the cup out for a refill. "It's too hot to drink this crap, you know."

"Oh, do you want to pay?" Sakamoto challenges.

I roll my eyes and wait for whatever he has to say next. "I don't think you're dumb, Dojima, and I know he likes to pull shit. Like today." I feel a frown forming. I don't have an excuse, though. "He just seems a little too attached to you."

I certainly don't have a  _good_  feeling about this. "So you  _do_  think he's pulling one over on me, then?" I have to ask.

But Sakamoto shakes his head. "No," he tries again. "I think he's trying to plant himself into your life because he knows he _can_ —"

Sakamoto is thankfully cut off by the arrival of our food, but he mercilessly continues the second the waiter is gone. "He knows you'll let him stay because you don't like people taken out of your life and he has nowhere else to go."

Now it's my turn to chuckle and shake my own head.

 _That's not quite how it is. Everyone _has__   _us read wrong._

_Just so incredibly wrong._

_And it hits me—Is that how Tohru sees it?_

First I tell him we're starting over, and then I treat him so indifferently today?

"You still with me?" Sakamoto asks between mouthfuls of noodles. "Cause you haven't moved. Not even looked at your food."

I glance down, no longer hungry.

Sakamoto gulps down some water and rests his chopsticks. "Seriously, what's up?"

I know I need to move or say something but I'm completely frozen. _I feel like I'm missing signs and already screwing up a third time in a row and—_

_And okay. _OK_._

_Only one-out-of-two fuck-ups concerns Tohru, but still._

_Still..._

I instinctively slip my hand under the collar of my golf shirt and remind myself why I prefer collars, even if it's not a workday; not a work-shirt. The faded knots of scar tissue remain although they're significantly less red and angry.

When I think back on the signs that something was wrong, this should have been a  _big_  one.

The lesions looked horrific in the morning. The searing gouges and channels that wound through my skin healed to the braids of tissue there now. The fractal tattoo that is much lighter, but still runs from the base of my neck to halfway down my side...

I would've gone to the hospital, except there was no blood. Everything was closed.

"Uh, Dojima?"

I finally focus back to the conversation. "Yeah, it's fine. Sometimes the big one from the accident aches. I can feel it in the joint," I easily reply, feeling my face flush. I dig into the food so I don't have to talk anymore.

I fumble around, like I'm admitting an embarrassing truth, when truly I'm lying through my teeth.

Oh it was an accident, all right. But definitely not from the collision while chasing Namatame.

Just convenient timing, that.

Part of it did reopen when I was wrenched around from the accident that shitty day, and the hospital figured it couldn't be from anything else.

I can't say I'm positive how it happened, though I do know it's from an evening a few nights before, when I spent the night with Tohru, probably drunker than I'd let myself get since right after Chisato's death.

Tohru says I walked into an exposed wire. I can see myself doing that and forgetting, if I was that far gone. I didn't want to take care of myself back then.

What I  _can_  recall is the smell of sizzling flesh...

I remember some of earlier, and then the next morning, but there are several gaps.

I eat in silence, hoping there will be no more questions I don't have answers for. No more questions from Sakamoto.

_Or myself._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Re-Edited 6/7/17


	6. Liars (Kanji)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kanji is lured over by Adachi and they bicker a bit, getting nowhere. Then he yells at Dojima on his way home. He doesn't 't care for being tricked or dragged into other people's arguments.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter just shot right out of my fingers! Originally the argument between Kanji and Adachi got way too heated and escalated to violence, and I had to cut it and reign it in a bit. Saving it in the clip for later though~ These two will either work it out or smack the shit out of each other before the story's done...

Chapter Six: Liars

(Kanji)

"S'cuse the intrusion!" I shout kicking off my sneakers at the Dojimas’ threshold. "Oi?" There's no one around the open-plan first floor.

I call out again, wandering to the center of the room. "Ojisan?" It's quiet. "Nanako…?"

"Hey! Hey!" I finally hear. Then scrambling footsteps.

 _Aww..._   _Is he the only one home?_

"No, not you," I yell to Adachi. "I wanted the other ojisan."

"Yeah. Ha ha," he breathes, stopping in front of me. He's wearing only his boxers. "I'm not an old man. And you get me, apparently."

"Lucky me," I mutter, motioning to his lack of decency. "Where's Dojima?"

Adachi frowns. "He left," he grudgingly concedes.  _Damn he looks pissed!_

"Yeah? Then I'll be back—"

"Woah _woah_!" Adachi motions for me to go sit. "Kanji-kun!" he soothes in a calmer voice. "Leaving so quickly?"

"Yes," I bluntly respond. "I don't wanna talk to you, especially not without the others around. And seriously, what the fuck? Did you just get up? It's like three o'clock!" I fold my arms. Remembering that too-sweet over-familiarity thing he keeps trying to pull. "And I'm not 'kun' to you."

"Piece of shit—" he mutters, narrowing his eyes. Then he snaps out of it in like a second and tries to laugh it off. " _Ha ha!_ Nothing! …Uh, go sit."

I shake my head. "No. I'm out." I turn to walk back to the door.

"Hey! No!" Adachi jumps in front of me super fast. I take a step back.

"What do you want?" I bark. I don't necessarily  _hate_  him. But I also don't trust the snake.

Adachi's shifty eyes dart back and forth like he's considering what to say. "What am I?"

I don't have an answer, but he steps closer when I shrug. I take another step back, ending up on the tatami and remembering I wanted the door and not the living room. "...A murderer?" I finally reply.  _That's not going to go over well,_  but I don't know what he's looking for here.

"No, idiot!" he groans, then stands up straighter. He looks me in the eye and gestures around at the house we're in. "In all of this, what am I?"

"Uh," I stall. That's not nearly specific enough. "A half-naked murderer?"

" _Ngh_!" Adachi moans and crouches down, clutching his head like he's in pain.

"What?" I ask. "You're not giving me enough to work with!" I complain.

"To  _them_!" he gripes. "What am I to  _them_?" He slaps the back of one hand into the palm of the other, trying to drive his point home.

"Ohh," I breathe. "Oh. I get it!" I nod.

"Yeah," Adachi growls. "Well I don't!"

"No," I scratch my neck. Now I gotta back it up for him. "I get what you're _asking_ , but I ain't going there. That's a second-party opinion, and I'm not getting in the middle. Why don't you talk to them about it?" _That'd make more sense._

Adachi just stares at me blankly.

"W-what?" I ask. I don't like that creepy look. It's worse than the sadistic smile.

"I'm not going to tell what counts as first, second, or third party. Obviously a teacher somewhere fucked you over big time." He opens his mouth to laugh, but there's no smile and it's awful.

He loses interest, sighs, and continues on. "Earlier when the Chief was here they both gave me looks when I was going to say I'm Dojima's boyfriend."

"Yeah," I sigh. "You should bring that up to them? Specifically Dojima? Definitely not me," I think I'm babbling. "And don't put that crap on Nanako, either."

He looks like he's pouting. Simmering and just getting madder.

"Aren't you a little old for the word 'boyfriend'? And I don't think it's that complicated. I mean, you are still in jail and all, technically." _I keep digging a hole. I know I'm digging but I can't see the top anymore and it's already so deep..._

Adachi's turning a shade of red that resembles a pickled plum. And he looks just as sour. He puffs out each word as a separate, seething huff: "Then. Why. Am. I. Here."

He's stalking towards me again, this time with clenched fists. "Hey, hey," I evasively blurt out.

"Why didn't he just let me rot in prison! This is _worse_!" Adachi howls and I jam my fingers in my ears—God he's so  _loud_...

When he cuts it out, I remove my fingers, giving him a look that I hope says his shit won't fly with me. "I will plow through you to get out of here if you do that again."

Adachi smirks and only then do I realize I've instinctively hopped up on the couch to push myself further away during his last trick. " _Really_." It's not a question. He's watching me dubiously, like he knows exactly what to do to work me up.

I glare at him until Adachi backs away again, keeping his eyes on me as I step off the couch and sit down. "There isn't much I can do for you. This is definitely a _you-guys problem_ that's going to blow up in your faces if you don't address it. So be a man and get it done."

I've never loved Teddie more than when I hear my phone toot the peppy ringtone he set for himself. "I gotta take this," I tell the crazy man, hoping I can get out of here. "H'lo?" I ask, picking it up right there when Adachi doesn't move from his stubborn spot between me and the front door.

"He-le-lo!" Ted cheerily sings out. "Where are you? Nana-chan has been waiting here for a while. She said you were meeting her."

"Yeah," I reply, watching Adachi crack various body parts out of boredom. "She said to meet at her house, but I'm stuck with just King Crazy right now. Where are you?"

"Our... House?" Teddie squeaks out, confused. "No," he listens for a few seconds. "She says it was definitely here."

I frown. "Okay, well I'll be there soo—" I pause. The wheels are turning. "Ted, why are you calling me?"

"She forgot—"

"Yup," I cut him off with a groan. "I got it. I'll be there soon. Just hang in and make some snacks or something—Bye." I punch the end call button and flick my phone shut before he can say anything else.

From the way I've been staring Adachi down, he must know I know. I can feel my switch about to flip. But if I lose it Adachi will think he won.

"What?" The other innocently man asks, as if I'm a total moron.

"If you took Nanako's phone," I evenly tell him. "I will break all of your fingers."

"Uh-huh."

" _Don't test me right now,_ " I tell Adachi, rising from the couch to stalk towards him.

The other man just shrugs. "I hate to 'break' it to you, but that doesn't really bother me, remember?"

I grind my teeth and get right up in his face. "Did you take her phone to call me?"

"All about  _you_ , isn't it?" Adachi asks instead of answering the question.

" _Answer the frigging question._ "

He shrugs evasively. "She probably just told you the wrong thing."

Well, if he actually wanted me here, I'm ahead. "If you lie to me I won't talk to you next time."

" _Haven't_ touched it!" he brightly concedes. "But I did see it in the other room earlier."

"Didn't touch it?" I haltingly repeat for emphasis.

He shakes his head, holding up his palms. "I have _not_ touched it once~" I get the feeling he's hiding something, but I back off in the direction of the door. I bend down to tie my laces, keeping Adachi in my field of vision as he stalks closer. "But how about we trade numbers in case we ever need each other?" he smirks again.

He walks over and holds out his phone. I take it and tap in my info through the touchscreen. "If you text me crap I block you," is all I can think to warn.

Adachi actually laughs. "Ooh it won't be crap! And I sure hope we can get past this, Kanji-kun~"

I reach behind me for the doorknob. I don't think he'd do anything to me right after he asked for my number, but I still don't trust him. "Don't cross me," I forcefully command as I back out the door. I'm sure the backing away ruins the image of it, but whatever.

On the way home, I see Dojima walking in my direction. He waves to me all friendly and smiley. "Ojisan," I grunt when he stops in front of me, lighting up leisurely. I point in the direction of his house. "Deal with that crap!"

He deflates in an instant. "Oh," is the only thing he says, and then he goes back to the cigarette.

"You need to clear that shit up!" I'm not feeling friendly myself, but he looks so down, and I'm a sucker for that. I sigh, scratching at my head. "Adachi's in a real shitty mood. Talk. _Use words._ Be direct!" I groan. "If you don't address issues like 'that' they get bigger and bigger and then they murder half a village."

_...Okay that last part was more for my benefit than his. And he looks more haggard than a minute ago._

I swallow my own frustration and try again. "Why don't you let Adachi know what you're thinking, okay? Again,  _words_!" I repeat for emphasis. I bop Dojima's shoulder on my way past him, noticing the still-pained look on his face. I hear him sigh behind me and I let fly one last comment. "Good friggin' luck!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Re-Edited 6/8/17


	7. Mesh (Tohru)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A demon has entered the fray! The first of Adachi's team shows it's face. He feeds it junk food. Then he and Dojima work some stuff out. Then family dinner and hanging out AND THEN this day that's taken four freaking chapters is finally over!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Mesh" is a New Order song. I love the atmosphere of it.

Chapter Six: Mesh

(Tohru)

When the damn kid stops bluffing and finally turns tail, I climb back up to my room, bored again.

_Fuck, he's dumb as _bricks_!_

I didn't touch Nanako's phone, but the soot-covered snowman did. _It's not lying, per se, more like not telling the whole truth._..

The skinny blond kid must know what's going on, but it seems like his weird attachment to me is keeping a lid on everything. For now.

I recline on the futon, against the table, unmuting the TV so I can play more Miku. I ran downstairs so quick before I forgot to pause and lost the last level. I click through to retry, the inverse of a snowman floating slightly above the futon in the air next to me, watching me with interest.

"You wanna give it a go?" I ask, not really expecting an answer. When it instead holds up a bag of chocolate-covered potato chips I shrug. "Go for it, little guy."

_This one negotiated with me even when I couldn't pay. Take the chips if you'll stay happy._

The only one who  _is_  happy with me right now.

"Hee hoo~!" it chatters and opens the bag.

I give up on the game before it's even loaded. I toss the controller on the coffee table and turn to the small, puffy demon. He's happily stuffing chip after chip into his cartoon-y mouth, giggling like they're the best food in the universe. I don't disagree.

When there are no more chips, he just stares at the bag blankly.

 _That _is__   _disappointing..._

"Want some soda?" I curiously ask it. When the smile reappears, I hand over a mostly-empty bottle of melon soda.

"HEE~" It looks fucking ecstatic!

I watch as the little guy eats it like a jelly doughnut, excitedly surprised when soda squirts out after the metal is rent apart. "I... Guess that's one way. If metal is tasty." I'm at a bit of a loss. People don't often surprise me, but this thing's not a person.

"My friend~" it sings. "Hoo! New companion always gives me food!"

I don't know how long I talk to it and feed it various snacks, but the second I hear the door open, I order it to conceal itself. It turns transparent and leisurely floats out the window. All I have to do is call its name and it'll come back, and I couldn't care less what it does when I don't need it.

I hear its voice even though it's flown off. "Watch your back, hoo! Trial soon! Heee hooooo~"

"You're supposed to be watching my back," I mutter and pick up the controller once more. I restart the same level for a third time.

When I hear sandals slap the steps, I know it's Dojima who's back.

I could literally play the same level every day for years and he wouldn't notice. So as long as it's on, I've been playing for hours as far as he's concerned.

The music's up pretty loud because I was the only one home, but I hear the knock. "Come in," I yell over my own noise.

Dojima opens the door, takes one look at me lazing around undressed and closes it behind himself, groaning. " _This_ is what you've been doing?" he asks.

I nod, keeping my eyes on the screen. _Bet he's still angry._

"Where's Nanako? And why aren't you dressed?"  _Reasonable questions._

I pause the game, and put the controller back on the table. I try to look confused when I turn to him. "Well she went out and it's so hot, so I didn't think it mattered as long as I stayed in here."

"Uh-huh," Dojima replies, sounding annoyed. He stays by the door, looking ready to bolt again. His hand's twitching like he wants a cigarette.

"Did you want something?" I demand. He's looking at the scars that litter my body, as if noticing them for the first time. I can tell the way his eyes rest every once in a while on areas I suspect have some of he larger ones. "Yes?" I ask in a strained tone, feeling surly now. "Enjoying the view?"

Dojima rolls his eyes, shifting uncomfortably. "I didn't realize how many new ones you have," he manages.

"Things happen in prison."

Dojima coughs. I watch him try to find a way to respond. He finally decides to change the subject. "At least your fingers set well."

Oh you don't even  _know_  how terribly they set... _Fucking hacks couldn't have cared less if they actively tried. They're only normal because your daughter is some kind of healer or goddess or something. With her patience she should at least be a fucking _saint_!_

I throw on a fake smile, though, remembering he did try to help. "Yeah. Lucky me~!"

"Oh drop the act," Dojima brashly interrupts before I can take it further. "I know you're upset. Don't give me the fake you. Let me in."

I don't know how much  _that'll_  happen, but a little should be okay for now. I do abandon the plastic smile in favor of my real, more neutral expression. He flinches, like usual.

I'm not positive, but I think it's the suddenness that gets him; the way I look so different from the me he thought he knew.

I stare up at Dojima and wait for him to initiate further conversation or to leave, proving to still have all the emotion maturity of a rock. When he walks to the couch and sits down, I do feel somewhat satisfied.

Not totally appeased, but a lot happier than I was. And it's like a bonus that I don't have to keep on my Happy Jester Face. It's fun most of the time, but when I'm worked up it becomes a chore. And I'm pretty pissed at the shitty way Dojima acts around me in front of people who aren't Nanako.

I'm not quite ready to give in and sit on the couch. So I instead lie down the rest of the way on the futon, hoping to get a little rise out of the other man. It's the least he owes me.

I hear a loud sigh and then the distinct rustle that a pack of cigarettes gives off.  _That's playing dirty,_  I frown.

But I'm up on the couch before he can blink, purposely flicking the lighter too close to his face so Dojima has to back up. He regains his composure, clearly piqued, but he does lean forward to catch the end of his cigarette.

I can't help the smirk dancing across my whole face.

"One of these days, Tohru, you're really going to hurt me," is all he tiredly says.

It's not like I tried to light his cigarette with a bonfire. Just a tiny butane torch. It wasn't cheap-cheap, but it's not like I spent more than the price of takeout on it.

I let the smirk fall away, wondering if he'll engage me in anything serious if I give him the room he needs. I lean back on the armrest, waiting while Dojima de-stresses with his favorite vice.

He looks much calmer when he's smoking. You can see some of the muscles in his face visibly relax, as if it's something much stronger than mere nicotine and tobacco.

Dojima finally crushes the embers of the cigarette and looks at me wearily out of the corner of his eye. "Yes?" I ask, annoyed at having to wait while he smoked in silence, even though I do like the chance to just watch him.

_I should also remember this morning. I don't want to give in on this._

He sighs and crosses one ankle over a knee. "I need to know I can trust you. For real," he tells me.

"Why am I even here?" I mutter.

"Because I _want_ to trust you," he leans over and affectionately nuzzles into my cheek.

"Oww—" I catch myself whining. "Shave dammit!"

"Every other day," he assures me, chuckling.

I pull away, nonplussed. "So what do I have to do?" I ask, standing up and pacing the room. "You can't be a jackass and then act like this."

It feels like Dojima's dragging this out annoyingly slowly. It's  _agonizing_. He folds his arms behind his head and leans back on the old couch. "Give me time. I don't want to jump back in and screw it all up again. We have a chance to start over." He glances down like he's antsing for another cigarette out of anxiety.

"How much time?" I circle back to the couch, sitting down with my legs crossed.

"I don't know," he admits, rubbing the back of his head. "This is only the second day. Just let things move along naturally. It'll work out."

"You're not patient, remember?" I ask.

"I can be," he easily counters.

I glance down because I know I'm frowning. "I'm not."  _Well that's quite the understatement._  "Are you going to always hide that we're together?" I know this is the make-or-break question, and by the pained look his face twists into, I can tell he knows it too.

I'm holding my breath again, afraid if I let it go I won't want to be around anymore.

But Dojima shakes his head. "No." He smiles a tiny smile. "We'll work it out, alright?"

I didn't even notice, but our hands are already twined together—When the hell did  _that_  happen?

Before I can think better of it, I lean in to kiss him; the first kiss since I've been here for two painful days. Two long days wondering what the hell I would do if this wasn't what it was supposed to be anymore.

When Ryoutarou pulls away, he's smiling a real smile, looking grossly adorable. I lean back, sitting again. "Can you at least tell Nanako for now?" I nag, needing to see real progress.

I'm surprised when Ryoutarou simply laughs. "You don't think she knows?" He raises his eyebrows, giving me only half of the You-Idiot look this time.

"She told me she doesn't know why you never said anything," I counter.

"Oi!" Ryoutarou suddenly jabs me in the ribs and I let out a brief squawk.

I press my free hand to the area. "Oh what the  _hell_!?"

He looks unhappy, but not angry. "What's with this 'jisan' business. What'd you do?"

"I asked Nanako if she wanted to call me Tohru, and she tacked the rest on herself. I just told her it was okay."

"Mm," the grumpy man replies. "So I have to tell her in words, even though she did that?"

I groan loudly, shoving Ryoutarou's shoulder. He bounces away, but rebounds right back to the same position, grinning. "Yes. Definitely yes." How is this so unclear to him! " _Yes-yes-yes!_ " I shake him.

I'm silent for a minute while he thinks to himself. "What am I supposed to say?"

"Don't look at me!" I exclaim. "I've never done this before."

Ryoutarou looks honestly surprised. "You've never dated before?" he asks nervously.

"Not..." Well I'm already on the Half-Truths Train. "Not men."

_Not anybody._

_But I'm not saying that after his somewhat alarmed reaction. Guess that one's going to the grave now._

Ryoutarou snorts. "Well neither have I, moron!" We fall into an uncomfortable silence this time.

"I don't think Nanako thought I would find anybody," Ryoutarou finally confesses. "All I did for so long was work. All the time. It was babysitters until she was old enough for a key." He doesn't look so good now. I wish he would get off this tract, but he probably needs to get it out.

A cynical bark of laughter brings me back to the moment. "I never thought life could be this good again," Ryoutarou shakes his head. "I didn't think things would change, and I certainly didn't think I deserved to be happy—I still don't. But now I have you and you need to help me  _not_  lose you. I want you to feel comfortable here, with us. And in Inaba again. But I'm pretty set in my ways... So help me."

"Y-yeah," I stutter at his sincerity. I don't think he's ever asked anyone for help in his life before. "We'll figure it out," I assure him.

He's squeezing my hand so tightly, it'd hurt a normal person. I look down at the display and cover our hands with my other one. "And it's not like I can really go anywhere, so don't worry!" I can't help myself from making a crack. I don't like him so down like this.

"Tohru," Ryoutarou looks me seriously in the eye. "Don't joke about that. If you wanted to go somewhere else I'd help you. You're not stuck here and don't think you owe me something. I did what I did because I love you." I feel myself wince as he says it. He notices and repeats the phrase: "I love you," he softly tells me, as if it can start to rebuild all that was lost.

I so hate that word. It's one of the ones I despise.

I knew it had to come up in a conversation like this, but I can't stand it.

_Don't you realize you're an idiot to give something so fragile to me?_

_I don't have any love to give back. I have commitment and loyalty, attachment and passion, but those don't equal something as pure as 'love'._

Ryoutarou is watching me closely. He's hoping I'll at least accept his feelings all over again.

_Of course I will. They're one of the few things worth something in this dump of a world._

So I have to give in and say it this one time.

 _I would_ "Love you." _if I knew how._

All it takes it those two words and Ryoutarou's dragging me to him, his face shining like the sun.

I cling to him and wonder how long it'll be before he remembers what a disappointment I am. How long before he regrets giving me anything; any sort of a second chance.

We sit like that until we hear Nanako announce that she's home. Ryoutarou nudges me away. "You should, ah, put on something else before dinner."

I look down, having forgot I didn't plan on even leaving the room again for the day. "Oh. Yeah." I step over to the dresser and pull a shirt and more shorts out. "I'm almost out of shorts," I grumble.

"How many times have you been changing each day?" Ryoutarou quizzes. I can hear the smirk in his voice.

I look around at the mess of tanks and shorts and tees strewn about the floor near the futon. "Uh?"

He laughs and motions for me to pass them to him. "You're some piece of work..."

"I _like_ having more than one thing to wear," I complain, collecting the stuff I've worn for only a few hours each.

I didn't think about it beforehand, but now his face looks tight again. "Hey," I start. " _No_ —Come on. It wasn't that bad... I have all this stuff now." Ryoutarou smiles sadly and takes the not unclean clothes from me.

"It's fine. We can always get more," he kindly replies as he hurries from my room.

"Ugh." This whole day has been filled with landmines. I don't know what will set him off, just like when we first met.

At least he's not so angry, this time around.

\---***---

Dinner only went slightly better, with Nanako and I keeping the conversation afloat. I promised to teach her some new card games afterwards, so now we're sitting at the low table, taking turns on King's Corners.

I get fidgety when it takes her more than ten seconds to choose her move, and start cracking each of my toes. She peers over at me, wondering about the noise.

"Hey!" I tell her. "This one'll be loud—Wait for it—"

She listens and jumps at the pop my big toe makes. "Eww!" she comments.

"Feels better, though," I say.

When I look back to the table to take my own turn, I don't see any moves available. "Also I win," she proudly replies, holding up her hands to show me that she's out.

"Oh, wow... You already beat me!" I'm a little taken aback at how quick she is to learn new games and strategies. I'd be irritated if it were anyone else who bested me so often.

"You two know it's already past ten?" Ryoutarou asks, more for Nanako's benefit than my own. He slides a bookmark into whatever he's reading and grabs a cigarette from a box on the floor.

I fall on my side so I can reach him with the lighter without having to get up. Nanako giggles while Ryoutarou just rolls his eyes. "And what am I going to do with all these matches I bought? Hmm?" he holds the paper stick to the flame though, wanting only to tease me.

Nanako isn't having it. "What brand?" she asks, grabbing the matchbook he'd laid on top of the box of smokes. "Because I thought pubs gave the ones with their names out for _free_."

A loud, long laugh bursts out of my throat. She's smirking while Ryoutarou gapes, looking appalled she'd throw him under the bus like that. The cigarette almost falls out of his mouth, but thankfully he remembers he needs to close it so the house won't catch fire.

I hold out a fist and Nanako bumps hers to mine. I know I'm grinning and I'll get shit for this later... But I haven't laughed so much in as long as I can remember.

"Hey," I call to him. "You've gotta be able to take it as well as you dish it out. If she didn't start developing a knack for sarcasm, you'd be _more_ concerned!"

Ryoutarou shakes his head, still mystified. Nanako smiles at me once more, then gets up to say goodnight to us.

When it's just the two of us, Ryoutarou turns to me, trying to process what just happened. "She's not like that often. But when she is, it's too much! She's like a little carbon-copy of Chisato, but she's getting my attitude. Throws me for a loop..."

"Oh she definitely dissed you!" I whoop, and climb up to the couch, dumping Ryoutarou's legs so I can fit.

His bemused expression hasn't gone away and he crushes his cigarette before speaking again. "She's seemed more animated with you the these past few days, than when it was just the two of us." He kicks his feet back up and on top of me. "It's nice."

_I feel my chest tightening; a happy feeling._

"Good." Ryoutarou looks like he could fall asleep right here, but I'm more interested in seeing if he'll let me go back to sleeping in his room now that we talked some of this out. His eyes are drooping, so I try popping one of his toes—Can't help it if they're right in front of me. I yank hard and it cracks audibly.

"Yah!" he yelps, fully awake. I can't help snickering. "Warn a guy!"

I try to look remorseful. "It didn't hurt, did it?"

He sighs and shakes his head: the two replies I'm most used to. Then nods to the stairs. "We shouldn't sleep down here. I'm going to head up."

I grab his leg before he can get up. "Wait—"

"What?" he sleepily asks.

_I hadn't considered what to actually say..._

I take a deep breath and give it a shot. "Let me come, too. I never wanted my own bed."

Ryoutarou rolls his eyes, but takes my hand this time when he gets up. "I heard Nanako tell Kanji she had her money on five days. Guess she lost."

"Wh-what?" I ask, confused.

"Nothing," Ryoutarou grins at me conceitedly. "I'm the winner anyway."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Re-Edited 6/8/17


	8. Roulette (Ryoutarou)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> From this point on: A day of yard work goes to hell pretty quickly.  
> Dojima wakes Adachi to help him around the house. Seems like a fun day, till the other man goes a bit bonkers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Roulette" is my favorite System of a Down song.  
> This point in the story is where I think they may start to get a little OOC. I'm working off the source material, plus the bits of personality I've cultivated myself. I hope you enjoy!! :) Any feedback is SO welcome!  
> Last night I finished off the plot arc of "Oretachi", so I know there are fifteen chapters total! Yay! Everything after nine needs a bit of personality injected, as it's almost barebones plot, but I'm plugging away. I also decided that I'm doing a Part III. It's going to be "Watakushi". It's a dated, polite way of saying "I" that can also mean "my private business".

Chapter Eight: Roulette

(Ryoutarou) 

"Oi!" I kick Tohru through the futon. "How long are you going to sleep for _?" I want to do the outdoor work before it gets too hot._

I pull the covers off of his face. Tohru groans and rolls over. I push the toe of my sandal into his hard back. "It's almost eight," I complain. "Nanako left for school a while ago."

Tohru quickly yanks the blanket back over his head. "I cooked for you and it's going to go cold." I feel myself frowning, but I can't help my annoyance. _I want to make the most of our time before it’s back to work._

"Give me a minute!" Tohru whines, curling up into a ball. "It's so bright Ryoutarou!"

I feel a smile coming on when he uses my name, but it's not enough for me to let him sleep all day. If anything, it just makes me want him up more. "C'mon," I protest, squatting to yank the blanket all the way off him. "I lived with two kids and neither was this bratty!"

I playfully poke Tohru in the side. "Oww!" he moans. "Ryoutarouuuu!" He flails his feet that are still trapped under the covers. A snort escapes me as I try to stifle more laughter.

"Why's my pain so funny?" Tohru asks, peering out at me.

"It's—" I start, but clamp my mouth shut before I can say 'cute'. I feel heat in my face. That'd be too much, and likely not appreciated. I roll my eyes instead. "That doesn't hurt and you know it."

I sigh and sink to a sit. "I missed you."

Tohru looks puzzled, and completely disheveled. I'm happy his hair is shorter again, but the way it sticks up after he sleeps is downright ridiculous. "I was just sleeping," he mutters distrustfully.

"I'm being impatient," I admit. "I only have a few more days off."

"Okay," Tohru huffs. He throws off the blanket and reaches up for me. He yanks on my shirt, pulling me down to him.

I don't want to rebuff his pleas for closeness, but we had a plan for the day. So when he pulls me to him, I let him kiss me some, but then jump back up.

"Let's go!" I declare. "You said you were going to help me with the yard work."

Tohru lets out an overdramatic, strangled cry and kicks my shin. "Cut it out," I roll my eyes again, exasperated.

He sits up, looking a little more alert. "Let's do something else," he suggests, circling his arms around me. I shake my head.

"Yard work. If I have off-time the grass needs cutting. The bushes and garden need attention."

" _I_ need attention!" he howls.

"Touch me and I punch you." I raise a balled fist.

I stop.

 _Starting over…_   _Right_.

"You're not going to goad me into losing it," I tell him. "Now get up."

"Are you sure?" Tohru smiles innocently.

I bend down and grab the back of his head to bonk it into my own. He yips in pain and holds his hand to the spot. "Nope. Move."

Tohru groans and stands up. I move to the door and pull him after me, laughing. He glares warily, jutting out his lip like he's going to get angry.

I can't stop laughing so I ruffle his hair and hug him.

I take out a cigarette and walk past his room. "Put on something you don't like. It'll probably get dirty." I fish for my matches and head for the stairs, but Tohru's next to me in a flash. "Hmm?"

He has his lighter in his hand and he's smirking. I lean towards him and smile myself while he flicks it on to light me up. "Thanks," I curtly reply. "See you downstairs." I can hear him grumbling again. I stifle a grin. "Wear some of those pants you don't want!"

" _Ha ha!_ " he calls after me sarcastically.

Downstairs, I pour myself another cup of coffee and one for him. I mix sugar and cream liberally; the way I know he likes it. I put the mugs on the table and scoop some fried rice into a bowl. There isn't much I cook, but I don't think he'll care as long as there's something sweet to go with it. I open a melonpan I picked up from the store and stick it on a separate plate. _That'll do._

When I turn around again, Tohru's already in his seat, smiling. Probably at the sight of me serving food. "Oh shut up, Tohru," I grunt, sliding the dishes in front of him. I pull chopsticks out of my shirt pocket and pass them to him.

He's grinning like an idiot. "I wasn't going to say anything," he protests easily, politely eating the warm rice first, but not taking his longing stare away from the sweet bread.

I cover my smile, getting a kick out of how easy he is to read sometimes. _At this stage I know it's mostly for my own benefit, but that doesn't make it less fun..._

"I don't care if you eat the damn bread first," I finally tell him.

His bright eyes flick up to meet mine. "That'd be rude~" he chides in a singsong voice.

"Because that's high on your list of worries, right?" I ask, rapping my knuckles on the table. He smiles playfully before shoveling the rest of the rice in his mouth, swooping down on the bread the second it's gone.

"I didn't know we had melonpan, you know," Tohru says around a mouthful of puffy, sugared bread. "It's my favorite."

I nod. "I know. I went to the corner store earlier to get the paper. I normally I take a free copy from work." I watch him eat the crunchy parts last; concentrating more on a damn piece of mass-produced junk food than he ever did with his work. I put out my cigarette to keep from frowning.

"I didn't put any in your room because it can get moldy. The _rest_ of that crap would survive a nuclear winter." I feel a tone of disgust creeping into my voice—I really do hate sweet things.

"Next time?" he pleads like a kid, eyes shining.

I snort out a laugh. "Yeah," is the only answer I could ever give him. "Make a list or something so I know what you want..." I trail off. "I noticed most of the stuff I put in your room is gone. I'll make a run later, but don't forget to recycle the soda bottles—I haven't seen many in the bin."

_He can eat as much of that shit as he wants. I won't say anything, but it's scary how scrawny he got. He's solid and strong, but it still makes me worry._

"Oh, sorry about that," Tohru replies. Dragging me from my thoughts. "One of the kids took care of it for me."

"That's good." I polish off my coffee as he dawdles, taking tiny sips from his own. "I won't let you finish that if you're going to drag this out," I firmly assert.

Tohru glares, but then drains the at-least-half-full the cup with one swallow.

"Alright," I grin, rising. "Let's get to work!" We shuffle the dishes into the sink and make for the garage. I grab the mower for myself and pass Tohru a garbage bag, telling him to weed the garden.

I'm almost all the way around the house, when I spot Tohru already sprawled out next the garden, done. He's lying next to the bag of weeds, not wearing any shoes, like usual. "That can't be good for your feet," I comment. The ground's not soft at all.

Tohru raises one foot and wiggles his toes. "I don't care. I missed being barefoot."

I have to bite back a twisted smile.

 _What else did you miss?_   _Tell me everything._

I wheel the mower back to the garage and take out two pairs of hedging shears. I toss one to the grass near Tohru. "Let's get this over with, then we can do whatever you want, yeah?"

He grunts and takes the clippers in one hand, the bag of weeds in the other. "Those can go in the garage," I tell him. Tohru nods and I set off to start on the trees in the back.

When we're finished with the yard work, I leave Tohru sunning himself on the grass while I return inside to grab a drink. I take a large bottle of Aquarius from the fridge and hastily gulp down half.

_Damn I was thirsty..._

I cap the cold jug and bring it out back, throwing it in Tohru's direction. "Drink that," I order. He sits up and has the rest, although most if it misses his mouth and ends up all over him instead. I heave a sigh and slap a hand to my forehead. " _Moron!_ I already threw your other clothes in the machine earlier..."

He stands up, taking off his tee and throwing it and the empty bottle by the door. "Yeah," he remarks, looking like he knows something I don't. "Because you're going to wear that sweaty mess again,  _right_?"

I look down, annoyed that my own shirt and pants are also pretty dirty. He waggles his eyebrows and guffaws.

I lean against the house and pull out a cigarette, knowing he'll rush over with that damn, ever-ready lighter. He does wander over to me, but instead of lighting my smoke, Tohru pulls it from my lips. I narrow my eyes, unamused.

I don't have time to complain, though, because then he's kissing me, sticking the cigarette in his pocket when I make a grab for it. I hiss out a breath when he wraps a hand behind my head, yanking me closer and pushing me into the wall at the same time.

"You think this is a good idea?" I ask when he finally lets up. I can't say I'm surprised when he just nods and grabs a handful of my hair, dragging my head back down to his. "You've only been home for four days."

"You said I get to pick after the yard work... I want to do _this_ ," he pouts. "It worked last time." He smirks. "Cleared up  _all_  the awkwardness." I probably still look worried, because he adds that this is what he wants, clearly working through his list of things that break down my walls—and inhibitions.

And his serious words and love-struck expression make me want to trust him so much... I  _ache_  for it.

I check my watch. _It's only noon._

"Alright," I decide, wrapping my arms around him. Tohru's eyes widen, and I can tell he clearly wasn't anticipating I'd give in that easily. I laugh and look down at him. "Let's go inside then."

His eyes dance as debates something before answering me. " _Outside,_ " he stubbornly demands.

"You're kidding," I counter, knowing he's not. He stares me down, unmoving, and I let my eyes wander, assessing the situation. The concrete wall is high, taller than us, but that doesn't make it seem like any better of an idea. I try my best to sound incredulous, even though nothing he says or does surprises me much anymore. " _This_ is what you want?" I raise my eyebrows.

Tohru flashes a nasty little grin and yanks me back down to his level. I strain against his hand, getting an idea. "I'll make you a deal."

He lets up, and I pull my head back again. "What?" the younger man asks me distrustfully.

"You get this and then we try acting normal for a while. For me," I tell him.

He squints, considering the offer. "Okay," he replies. "But you don't hold back," he challenges, thinking he's one-upped me.

Not a bit.  _That_  I expected.

"Alright," I acquiesce, whirling us around, so he's the one pinned against the wall.

I think that surprised him, but I can't tell, can only see a smoldering intensity in his eyes.

Tohru grins and does a little hop, positioning himself higher, but still wedged between the wall and I. "Oi, your back," I complain, knowing there are going to be a host of new scratches. He doesn't seem to notice, just continues climbing, using the leverage he's got from my shoulders to wrap his legs around me so that I'm fully supporting him.

"You little shit," I chuckle. He seems too pleased with himself, that I'm letting him act so bratty and order me around. _I don't like him to think he can get away with whatever he wants, but I do enjoy indulging him._

Then we're locked together again, and we fit so well like this. Tohru's undoing my shirt buttons he can reach and there's a part of me still shocked he's actually back in my arms again, here in Inaba.

Something  _I_  missed is the feeling of us on each other. But he'd probably laugh if I said that—And my mouth's busy anyway, remapping his.

We're like that for so long, just tentatively remembering the feel of each other. Hands all over arms and backs and necks and whatever else we can reach.

I finally pull away long enough to ask how far Tohru thinks we're going.

"You _said_ ~" he admonishes me, leaning forward to taste my neck. My next question catches in my throat, coming out as a groan instead. He snickers and clamps down his teeth a little.

_That's enough for me—_

I tap his leg and he gets the message to extricate himself enough so that I can wrench his pants off, throwing them aside. Tohru laughs and reaches for mine. Instead of going for the belt, though, he just gropes around, touching me.

I must look annoyed because he's wearing the biggest shit-eating grin. I swat his hands away and take care of it myself.

"You really _are_ impatient," Tohru scoffs, feigning irritation.

"You're the one who said—" I start, but have to focus on catching Tohru when he bounces up into my arms again. "You wanna warn me?!" I breathe. He stares uncomprehendingly. "You want to get dropped? Cause that's how you get dropped. On to the pavement. Naked."

He looks bored, and rolls his eyes, so I continue. "...And then you get hurt and I have to go call the ambulance and explain why there's a naked guy with a broken arm or something in my backyard."

"That sounds like fun, watching you explain that one away," Tohru mocks, his eyes flashing. "I can break it if you want..." He holds up an arm and is smirking a little too maniacally.

I pinch my mouth shut, because I know he would. "Don't be like that." I hold up my right hand for him. "Here, help me with this."

"You do it," Tohru demands, leaning forward into my neck again. "Or don't," he whispers, but I'm not having it.

"Don't bite me!" I snap, and wet my hand myself. _He's a moron if he thinks I'm doing something that would hurt him..._

I hear him groan and then dig his teeth into my neck again anyway. "Dammit you've got no restraint," I mutter and start getting him ready. I push him into the wall for more support, and Tohru responds with moving on to my ear. My stomach's flipping over and over; I haven't felt like this in so long.

"Oi," I finally bark. "Don't take it off!" It's starting to hurt.

Tohru laughs easily and I shake my head. He shifts around to my right side, fingering my disfigured shoulder. I try to pull back so I can read his expression, but he leans further forward so I huff in irritation and give up.

After a while I ask if he's ready. Instead of replying, he simply repositions himself to a better angle, and I can feel his smile as he leans into me again.

I cautiously ease us together, restraining him from making me go faster than I want. "Geez," I complain. "Take it easy, alright?" Because I've got him locked against me, Tohru scrapes his nails along my back instead, and I grit my teeth, involuntarily slamming into him.

"Dammit!" I complain, having felt him tense up and go rigid.  _Shit that couldn't have felt good!_

"Are you okay? Cut it out or I'm going to hurt you by accident!"

"No," Tohru grunts out, panting. "No that was good."

 _Huh_.

I sigh and try again, straining against myself now. The bastard does everything he can to get me to speed up, though, and I eventually give in, satisfied with the way he clings to me, and by little noises he's making that sound like it's going well.

_I'd be happy like this forever. Just the two of us as one._

Unfortunately, it's over way too soon, though at the same time it feels like we've been at it forever. I pull him away enough, so I can reach up to help him finish, and then lean us against the wall of the house to catch my breath.

"Alright," I tell Tohru. "Off, off." _I'm tired..._

He grumbles but lets go of my neck and I set him down, stretching my back after. He sits on the ground, not caring to dress himself and I have to chuckle. I pick up my own pants and pull them back on, then dig another cigarette out of the pocket.

Tohru takes this as a challenge, of course, glaring at me at he scoots over to his own pants. "Hang on," he whines.

Sighing, I stick the cigarette in my mouth. "I don't want the sweaty-sports-drink one back, thanks," I sarcastically tell him, searching for the lighter near the stoop.

I know he throws his own damn lighter at me because it hits me in the back of the head. "... _Ow_." I fetch it from the ground and light the cigarette.

I sit on the step and wait while he fights with his pants and then comes to sit next to me. I'm silent, enjoying the satisfying jolt of nicotine.

Then I do it—I turn to Tohru and say the one thing I need to, although I know it'll make him sour. "I love you," I warmly smile.

Tohru stares at me guardedly. I blow a puff of exhaust in his face and he wafts it away while I laugh. "Just accept it, yeah?"

"I'm yours," he seriously replies, his mouth twisting into a wry smile. I know from experience he's also thinking that I'm his, and if that's as far as we're going to get, I can accept that for now. But I'm resolved to tell him how I feel every day.

_I'll wear him down until he realizes the truth in my words._

I go back to concentrating on the cigarette, surprised when he speaks again. "I can give you commitment and loyalty. I can give you protection and passion. I can even give you my life. But I don't think those things are the same as your concept of ‘love’."

_I swear this conversation always breaks a little piece of my heart._

I sigh, unsure how I will ever be able to convince him that this  _is_  love. Tohru's still watching me closely, and his face has gone pretty blank again—I'm still not used to that look, but he says it's his ‘thinking face’.

"Ryou?" he asks, and I perk up at my name.

"Yes?" I reply, holding the cigarette away from my face, expecting some kind of complicated question.

_Tohru looks like he's considering something, but I can't read him like this, so I guess I don't know..._

"Are we still doing things I want?"

"Why not?" I shrug. I check my watch, expecting him to ask if we can go again. I flick ash to the ground, pointing out the time. "We've got at least three hours before Nanako and her annoying escort show up... Teddie's been walking her home for a few weeks, now. Which is nice, except then he wants to stay for dinner, and—" I stop as my hand is torn out of my field of vision.

I hear Tohru grunt briefly and then feel him release me.

"What the hell was that?" I holler, bringing the dwindling cigarette back to my mouth. I try to take a pull, but don't get anything.

I tip the butt end towards my face, feeling dread pool in my gut— _It's definitely out._

I can't comprehend what's happened even when I manage to look over at Tohru, who's still brushing ash from his neck. I glance back at the cigarette; the pieces clicking into place.

_No._

_No fucking way—_

" _What the fucking hell Tohru?!_ " I roar, jumping to my feet. There's angry red blossoming around the area he's carelessly smacking.

_The moron put the goddamn thing out on his _neck_!_

"What the fucking hell?!" I repeat, at a loss. He looks startled when I yank him up with me and drag him into the kitchen, where I maneuver him so that his head's in the sink, with cold water flushing the burn.

"Goddammit! _Why the fuck would you do that?"_ I can't stop yelling, repeating that phrase until I have to drag him back to standing because he's choking on the water.

"Hey! What the hell just happened out there?" I splutter when he stops coughing.

Tohru looks at me guiltily. "Well I didn't think you'd get so mad about it..."

"And why the hell _wouldn't_ I?!" I ask, still incredulous. "On what planet would something like that be a good idea?"

"Uh," Tohru gulps. "I've wanted to do that for a while and you were in such a good mood," he trails off.

 _I pinch the bridge of my nose, knowing I shouldn't even ask, but—_ "So you thought that because I was in a good mood, that I wouldn't lose it when you purposely burn yourself with one of my cigarettes? You thought I'd be happy and we'd have a good laugh and it'd be over and we'd just move on with our day?" Tohru tentatively nods.

"No!" I shout. "Oh hell  _no_! You can't  _pull_  shit like this anymore! That's dangerous—And did you even _think_ for a minute who your parole officer and doctor are going to blame when you're not even a smoker?"

I have to stop for a breath and think about how to deal with this in a way that'll get through to him. Tohru's sitting quietly at the table, clearly sulking because I'm angry at his fucked-up way of showing me he's mine.

"Is there _anything_ you can tell me?" I press for some kind of an answer. _I need some way to process this._

"I didn't think you could get in trouble for it," he relents a little, seeming contrite about that part. I guess  _something_  stuck.

I bite back another load of harsh words, instead replying to what he just said. "Do you think before you do these things?" I helplessly ask.

Tohru is quiet again, but I can see the gears are turning this time. "Not always," he admits.

"Well you need to, alright?" I command. "Because everything has consequences."

I don't want to keep tearing into him, so I retrieve an ice pack from the freezer and have him press it to the burn. He grudgingly accepts it, complaining that it doesn't even hurt. I throw him a dirty look and he stops talking.

I take my grinder out of the cabinet to prepare some coffee beans, letting him stew while I think about what the hell just happened. I go through the motions, glancing over to make sure he hasn't abandoned the ice. That's going to be excruciating to even  _look at_ for days.

_Fucking moron must've held it to the nook under his jaw until it went out. It's not the first thing you'll notice, but even an idiot wouldn't miss it._

He's taken off more than one layer of skin ands it's definitely going to leave a brutal scar.  _He's too impulsive._

After the coffee's brewing and I've cleaned the dishes and grinder, I pour a glass of water and move to the table. The ice is gone and Tohru's picking at the sore spot. "Knock it off," I order, swatting his hand down, and pass him the glass. "Drink. Burns dehydrate."

Hey obeys and drains the glass. He silently slides the cup back. I take it to the sink and sigh. "If I go run the bath, can I trust you alone for a few minutes?" I snarkily ask. Tohru rolls his eyes and gets up to follow me. " _Ice,_ " I command and he picks up the abandoned pack.

"I'll play a game until it's ready," he replies.

I nod and head for the stairs. _I should also start the—_

I sigh, softening a bit, remembering earlier. _This is all too damn much._

"Can you go get the other clothes from out back so we can do another load?" I ask Tohru. He gives me a thumbs-up and walks out to the yard.

_Guess I'm not getting 'normal' just yet._

I continue up the stairs, sighing again and marching straight to the medicine cabinet. I need something for my latest headache.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Re-Edited 6/13/17


	9. The Cop; in the Foyer; with the Chef's Knife (Tohru)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remember the stalker I mentioned in the summary? It's been nagging at Teddie, who we haven't seen too much of. He says something after he's followed to the Dojimas' and there's a confrontation. It ends poorly. Adachi has a flashback... Or, part of one.

Chapter Nine: The Cop; in the Foyer; with the Chef's Knife

(Tohru) 

I figured I'd better give Ryoutarou some time to cool off, so I told him I'd play games until it was time for the kids to get home. In reality, I've spent the last half hour feeding more things—some not actually food—to Black Frost, who happily accepts whatever I give him.

"Okay." I stand as it twirls in a circle. "I have to go back down to see Nanako when she gets home," I tell it.

"Ho~!" the thing replies. "Be ready. Your trial is about to commence."

I squint up at the snowman as he floats over to the window. " _What_ trial?" I ask as he watches me keenly. I scratch at the itchy band-aid under my jaw, aggravated.

He narrows his smile, answering me cryptically. "You need to reawaken your fragment of Izanagi, or you won't be able to save the human, hooo."

"Huh?" I ask again.

"Focus on the fragment. Hee hooo, awaken your potential once more!" It smiles again and vanishes out of sight.

I grumble and stand, annoyed that he wouldn't just tell me. I've been pumping him full of snacks the last few days, he owes me  _something_!

I climb down the stairs and hand Ryoutarou my list of food requests. He looks it over quickly and makes faces at some of them. I roll my eyes and plunk down at the table, where there's more coffee waiting.

I pick up my mug and take a sip. "How much coffee an I expected to drink a day?" I ask, genuinely curious.

Ryoutarou snorts, taking it as sarcasm. "Don't have it if you don't want it. More for me."

He sits across the from me and reads whatever part of the paper he didn't pour over this morning. I take my PSP out of my pocket and flip it on, clicking into Katamari, already bored. _I want a Vita but I should probably save my money to help with expenses. I'll find a cheap, used one eventually._

Ryoutarou glances up at me. "What're you playing?"

"Mariokart," I reply, picking a game he may actually know. Then wait for him to lecture me about doing something 'productive'.

"Nanako used to like Mario," he tells me and goes back to reading. "You can show me sometime if you want."

I tell him “sure” and wonder how mad he'd get if I didn't let him win. _He's the type who doesn't like losing, but so am I._

I remember one of the first times he came to my apartment. He was drunk, and my place was closer. When Ryoutarou saw all my games lying around, he asked if I was an otaku and laughed so hard he fell over. I never had time for friends.

_Okay…_

_So I don't like a lot of people, either. Games were enough._

The door opens, pulling me from my thoughts. Teddie bursts through, followed by Nanako. "We're home~~" the boy chirps, and both of us ignore him.

Ryoutarou grunts out a “welcome back” when he rises to pull something out of the fridge to start dinner. Nanako hurries upstairs to put her things away. The blond boy is crowding around Ryoutarou, whispering something that seems to upset him, and they freeze when the doorbell rings.

"You don't think he'd be so bold, do you?" Ryoutarou balks, setting down the strainer and walking over to answer the door. "Hello?" He asks, peeking out.

" _You—_ " a deep voice cries.

"Do I know you?" Ryoutarou asks, sounding like he's trying to jog his memory. He opens the door further.

I can't see past the damn kid, who's standing too close. " _That's him!_ " Teddie shrieks, clutching Ryoutarou's arm and pointing.

I can hear the other man speaking again and he sounds angry. "It was all of  _you_  again," he bitterly chokes out. "I know what's going on! I see that thing coming and going!"

"I'm sorry," Ryoutarou apologizes, confused. "Can we help— _Kid_ —!" He pushes Teddie further behind him and then his words are cut off by a groan and a choking sound. The kid wails for the other guy to stop, flashes of steel and sun bleeding into the scene.

The second I hear those awful noises, I'm out of my chair, charging the door.

\---***---

_My first day in Inaba was a huge pain._

I took the train from Tokyo and walked the few miles to my new building. When I arrived at the shabby five-story complex, I saw my ten or so boxes—all mailed—were stacked right in front of the door. I had to move them aside to get in.

It was a one-room. I brought along a dissembled table/kotatsu, cushions, and a few small appliances. I planned to buy a Western bed, a couch, and new bookcases, then have them delivered. _If I had to relocate to some shithole, I could at least indulge a little._

I spent an hour unpacking the things I'd need, as well as my games. My whole life spilled out on the floor of a one-bedroom...

When my phone rang, I grudgingly answered, not caring to do anything. "Hello?" a pleasant voice asked.

"Yes, hi," I replied.

"This is Sakamoto. Are you free at all today?"

_My new boss._

"Yes. Is there something you need?" I asked.

"Nothing too important," he told me. "We're having a quiet day, today. I was thinking you could come by and meet your new partner. I'll buy you both lunch and he can show you around. We don't get transfers too often, after all."

_Free food sounds too good to pass up._

"Yeah," I replied. "I can be there in half an hour."

"Good. I'll see you then!"

I hung up and slipped the phone back into my pocket. _Maybe this won’t be so bad._

At the station, I was introduced to a bunch of people, all pretty friendly. Sakamoto himself seemed like a decent guy. Then he brought me to an office near the back, the only one with a closed door.

"Well," the man sighed. "He's not the warmest at first, but I'm sure you'll get on fine."

_...So the free lunch is a bribe?_

I didn't have time to ponder it, though, because Sakamoto simply knocked on the door and pushed it right open. "Afternoon, Dojima," he called.

"Oi," a voice curtly replied.

I immediately gagged on cigarette smoke from the hallway—It smelled like someone was _constantly_ hotboxing that tiny office.

"Put that out, you know they’re not allowed anymore... I brought your new friend!"

I stepped in after the other man to see a tired, angry-looking guy sitting at the only desk. _Dojima._ He ignored his boss and kept smoking, which must be why the door was closed.

I scanned his cluttered workspace: loads of files, overflowing ashtray, and an empty pot of coffee next to a mug. The man himself looked pretty disheveled. He wore a partially-undone shirt coupled with loose tie and had short, messy hair. I had the feeling he hadn’t slept properly in a long time.

"So this is where the coffee pot ran off to!" Sakamoto shook his head. The other man just glared. "You need to leave it out for the others..."

_This doesn't look promising._

"Alrighty then!" Sakamoto clapped his hands together with a smile. "This is Adachi Tohru, your new partner. You two can go to Aiya's on me while some of the others move in a second desk."

Dojima raised his eyebrows but seemed otherwise unfazed, not even glancing at me. "Show him around a little and get to know each other. Dojima's a hard-worker who's been with us for his whole career. Adachi graduated at the top of his class and I'm told he's solved a few tough ones. Take your time and have fun," Sakamoto concluded with a wave. He backed out of the room and left us to ourselves.

Dojima sighed and stubbed out his cigarette.

"H-hi," I stammered. "It's nice to meet you... _Sir?_ " I squeaked that last word out awkwardly when he didn't reply or even look at me.

"Hnn," Dojima snorted. "Let's go. Aiya's is good." He stood and grabbed his jacket, throwing it over his shoulder as he stalked past me.

I followed him out of the station and down the road, wondering what the hell I'd do with such a taciturn new partner.

_At least... Well, if he was this straightforward all the time, I wouldn't need to worry about being friendly. I can fake enough to get through the days._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Re-Edited 6/13/17


	10. Spoke Too Soon (Teddie)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Teddie's take on the end of the last chapter, plus dealing with the fallout. The Bear boy knew Adachi had some tricks left, but he's never seen a shadow outside of the TV before!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was going to be 15 chapters, but yesterday's was only about half as long as today's chapter... So I added the flashback, and now I'm working on a flashback chapter to cap that one off. So it's going to take a little bit of time tog et back to the action >.<  
> \---Lore Breakdown!!!  
> \---(If you don't know all the pieces I'm sewing together to make this work, here's an introduction! They can all be found on the SMT wiki with much greater detail.)  
> If you don't know the Black Frost story Margaret tells to You during the game, here's a short version: He had a friend, but only for a day. After he wished he never had a friend to begin with because he was so lonely.  
> In the Persona series, the Sea of Souls is a everyone comes from and returns to. I smashed it together with the stuff on border to the land of the dead: Yomotsu Hirasaka. So for story purposes, Yomotsu Hirasaka borders the Sea of Souls. I also read that Yomotsu Hirasaka is a "slope".  
> Black Frost will talk about Izanagi and Izanami a little when the time comes.

Chapter Ten: Spoke too Soon

(Teddie) 

The stalker-man is outside the door—I can sense it's him. _He's been following me for a few days, and I saw him behind Nanako and I on the way over here._

"That's him!" I yell, grabbing onto Dojima's arm so he can scare this guy off for me.

I don't like that Dojima doesn't seem even a little afraid of the big man. "It was all of  _you_  again," the man yells at us.

And I  _really_  don't like the look he's giving Nanako's dad.

And _I don't like that we can't see his hands—_

"I know what's going on! I see that  _thing_  coming and going!"

"I'm sorry." _And I don't like how baffled Dojima sounds. It feels like the world's slowed down but I can't do anything to stop this._

"Can we help— _Kid_ —!" is all Dojima gets out before the stranger grimaces and whips a big knife out from behind his back—Dojima shoves me away and  _OH NO NO NO!_

Now it feels like the world is spinning fast—fast— _fast_ , and suddenly I'm the one holding him up instead of the other way around.  _The man is stabbing him again and again!_

Before I can call for help Adachi is outside, punching the guy in the side of the head. He goes right down!

Dojima feels really heavy and he's not breathing right. I struggle to get him sitting on the ground. The knife's on the pavement over there and there's  _so much blood_!

It's making me dizzy…

"Aaa-daa!" is all I squeak out. "He-help!" Adachi is still viciously beating the man instead of focusing on the bigger problem— _I don't know what to do!_

"Stop it!" I scream and he finally looks at me. " _Help him!_ "

Adachi grabs the man and hurls him over us into the living room.

"What?!" I hear Nanako cry. "Who _is_ this?!"

" _Go—_ " Adachi instructs. "Get her upstairs. Call Kanji!"

"Nn," Dojima tries and fails to say something again.

Thankfully Adachi is blocking the gruesome sight and I run for the stairs, pushing Nanako in front of me. "I-i-it's okay," I tell her, my voice not coming out right.

"What happened?" she asks. "You're shaking!"

I fumble my phone out of my pocket and click Kanji's name. He picks up on the second ring. "You need to get to the Dojimas'!" I scream into the phone. " _Now_ _!_ "

"Huh?" he replies. "What?"

I block the phone and turn to Nanako. "Stay in here," I tell her. "And I'll be right back." She nods and I close her door and move into the hallway. "Dojima-san just got stabbed and Adachi's losing it. You need to be here  _now_!" I really try to stay calm but it's not happening.

" _Wha—?_ "

"Get here!" I plead and punch 'end', going back downstairs to see what's going on.

The man is definitely unconscious and hasn't moved, but Dojima isn't moving either.

I snap to attention when I hear another voice. "That won't work, hooo! He's already at the border of Yomi. I told you a trial, ho!"

There's a persona—no a  _demon_ —floating by Adachi, who's holding a balled-up towel to the wound in Dojima's chest _._

_I don't know why I thought 'demon'—But it makes sense._

_‘Personas’ don't come out of the TV._

Black Frost. With Adachi.  _I knew he still had something..._

" _What the hell am I supposed to do?!_ " he bellows at it.

"He hoo!" it gasps. "Your friend?" Adachi nods, unwilling to remove the compress even though it doesn't look good. "I had a friend once... If you awaken your Izanagi you can retrieve your mate from the shores, hoo!"

This sounds bad, but Adachi doesn't even blink. "How?" he immediately demands.

"Hee hee hoo!" The Frost cackles. "I can take you, ho! To Yomotsu Hirasaka hooo!"

"Go," Adachi commands, though he doesn't move from his spot.

Black Frost beckons to him. "You have to hurry, hoo! He won't stay there forever!"

Adachi still looks unsure. He hasn't taken his eyes off Dojima for even a second.

I step forward. "Here," I numbly tell him. "I'll hold it on for you."

He wheels around and I take a step backwards. I've never seen anyone so  _terrifying_!

His features are contorted like he's being tortured and his yellow eyes are brightly glowing. " _What?_ " he spits.

"I-I'll help," I reply, pointing at Dojima.

He looks between the two of us. "Don't let anybody touch him," he fiercely orders. "Send Kanji upstairs to Nanako and I'll be back.  _Stay right there and don't move him_ _!_ "

I nod and step forward to press my own hand on the blood-soaked dishtowel. _It's frightening how still Dojima is. I've never seen a person like this before._

Adachi grudgingly lets go after I've taken his place. He takes a few seconds to weirdly run his hand over a big mark on Dojima's neck and then takes off for the stairs.

"C'mon," he tells Black Frost. It somersaults through the air after him, babbling the whole way up the stairs.

 _I hope he'll be okay_...

I call Kanji again with my free hand. _I can't look at Dojima or I think I'll throw up. Throwing up only happened to me once and it was terrible—But that's the awful feeling I get when I see him laying there like that._

Before Kanji picks up, the door swings open.

" _What the fuck?!_ " my best friend yells. _I've never been happier to see him so angry!_

"Kanji," I tightly call him, then remember—" _Don't look!_ "

He whirls around, taking in the damage. "Who's that?" he points at the stalker.

"I don't know," I whine. I can feel tears coming. Kanji looks so confused and worried. "Nanako's in her room. Go stay with her. Adachi went to try and fix this."

"Fix _how_?!" Kanji cries. "What the hell happened? And what're you doing to Doji—" Kanji stops.

"Stay!" I yell at him. "It's going to be okay,  _okay_?!"

"Is he...?" Kanji worries, just now noticing all the blood. Everywhere from the door to the couch.

"Yes. Adachi's on it. He went with a demon somewhere to try and bring him back. I don't know how long it'll take but I promised I'd stay here and  _it's so hard so please just go upstairs and make sure Nanako doesn't have any idea what happened or I'm going smash into pieces_!"

I'm screwing my eyes shut and taking big gulps of air, but Kanji didn't come near me, so I think it worked.

When I open my eyes, I see Kanji nod and bolts upstairs.

_Please Adachi, hurry up and come back with him. Fix it._

_I know you can._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Re-Edited 6/13/17


	11. Make You Feel Better (Tohru)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The rest of the flashback! Two more parts. This brings us up to Adachi's first visit to the Dojimas'.  
> Next time we'll flash-forward to the present again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The title is the Red Hot Chili Peppers song. It was just on while I was writing and I went with it because it worked so well.  
> I started the flashback as a bit of filler because the other chapter wasn't long enough, but I ended up SUPER satisfied with how the rest turned out. I hope you like it, too!!

Chapter Eleven: Make You Feel Better

(Tohru) 

_My first week blew._

It was a flurry of petty crimes and paperwork and Dojima screaming for me to make him coffee. I was peeved to be ordered around for menial work when I was _also_ a detective.

_So I made the coffee wrong._

Didn't put in enough spoonfuls of grounds, or added sugar or flavoring. Cream he didn't mind as much as the other two—He would bitch but still drink it. But if _anything_ flavored or sweet made its way into the cup, he would dump the coffee in the trash while glaring right at me, making sure I knew I screwed it up.

_My passive-aggressiveness soon reached levels it had never seen at my old office._

Nothing brought me more joy than to sip my own drink while the other man raged and stomped around the station. I never laughed when he was in the room, but I couldn't help cracking up when he left our shared space and slammed the door.

By the third day he was sending me out to a bakery or that Junes, ordering me to tell them it was for  _him_ , because ‘ _they_  knew how to make coffee fucking right’. I happily obliged, wandering through town long enough to get out of most of the desk-work.

_One of my jaunts took me all the way to the gas station..._

While I didn't even have a car, that albino was so friendly I stopped to chat, complaining about my shitty new post for a good twenty-minutes. The young guy laughed and offered advice, shaking my hand at the end and wishing me luck.

On the way back to the station, I felt so ill I stumbled and crashed to the ground: my legs buckling just right so I landed on _both_ large cups of coffee. They splattered all over the ground and my dress shirt—What a freaking  _pain_!

I pulled out my phone and called over to the office, saying I needed to go home, and possibly the doctor's. Sakamoto told me it wasn't a problem and to feel better—He would thankfully fill in Dojima for me.

I staggered back to my apartment, shucked off my nasty coffee-and-vomit riddled clothes, and crawled into my new bed. I had a nightmare that I was walking down an endless path with a red monster.

_Someone was telling me I could change the world._

I woke up plastered in sweat, with the doorbell sounding quickly _and_ shrilly. I groaned and climbed out of bed. I put on a shirt and pants and padded over to the door. I felt better, but still _exhausted_.

I yanked open the door to find a surprised Dojima, still mashing the bell. "Oh," he said, withdrawing his hand. "I've been here for a while. I was starting to get worried." He scratched the back of his head and tried to smile—Or at least _not_ frown judgmentally.

I nodded meekly, wondering what he was even doing here, and what time it was. "Can I help you?" I managed.

"’Suse the intrusion," Dojima rudely pushed by me, clearly not meaning the formality. I was too tired to give a shit... He kicked off his shoes and started opening blinds. "All everyone's talking about is how my new partner stumbled home yesterday covered in his own sick."

I winced and sat on the couch, watching the older man take stock of my place. He started opening cabinets and making angry noises. " _Where's_ your coffee maker?" he demanded.

"I-I don't have one," I shook my head.

" _What?_ " he barked. "Did it break?"

I stare, confused.  _I never had one. I don't particularly care for coffee._

He slammed the last cupboard in annoyance. " _Whatever._ We can stop at Junes and get you a new one."

I continued to stare dumbly, unsure what to say.

Dojima folded his arms and looked me up and down. "Get dressed," he snapped. "The chief told me to take you to the doctor if you're still sick."

"I, uh, think I'm okay now."

"Then get your work clothes. We're late!" he gibed.

I simply nodded and looked for something to wear. At this point I should've been embarrassed that my mess from yesterday was still on the floor by the door, but Dojima didn't even seem to have noticed.

When I came out of the bathroom, ready to go, Dojima glared at me again. "W-what?" I asked.

"Do you _not own a tie_?" he scoffed, sounding disgusted.

I shook my head. _Nobody seemed to care at my old job, so I didn't bother._

"Let's go," Dojima sighed, running a hand through his hair. I followed him out the door to his car.

I got in the passenger's seat while he rooted around in the back. When he got in the front and slammed the door shut, I perked up, reminding myself not to fall back asleep.

"Here," Dojima grunted, holding out a paper bag.

Stunned to be given anything from this guy, I took the bag and placed it in my lap. He stared at me like I'd lost my mind.

"Open it, moron!" Flustered, I looked inside.

_A red tie._

I glanced up at Dojima in surprise. He frowned and started up the car. "You do know how to put one on right?" he cocked an eyebrow, still irritated.

I nodded and slipped it around my neck, fumbling to remember the steps. After a few tries it looked decent. I tightened it and leaned back. "Thanks," I smiled at Dojima.

"It's fine," he grumbled, sticking a cigarette in his mouth. "At least we _look_ like partners now."

_Maybe I could get used to this guy..._

**\---***---**

On my first Saturday, we worked on a break-and-enter that kept us the office until later than usual.

I was scribbling ideas at my desk when I heard Dojima yawn loudly. " _Oi,_ " he called. "It's almost nine. You want to go get a drink with me?"

"Sure," I shrugged.  _I've got nothing else to do._

"Let's go." He abruptly grabbed his jacket and slung it over his shoulder. "We're not getting anywhere and I'm done." Dojima strolled towards the door and I rushed to catch up.

I followed him for a while, wondering where we were going. He finally turned down a side-street and walked into a bar. I expected an izakaya and had been hoping for food, but this was a _bar_ -bar. And I hadn't eaten since _breakfast_.

Dojima waved to the guy behind the counter and signaled something. "First round's on me," he said, sinking down into a booth. I waited in silence while he smoked until someone came by with two flights of beers. My stomach sank. I didn't wanna drink all that. _I just got over being sick..._

He—on the other hand—went right to town, knocking back two in a row. I sipped at one and fidgeted, realizing what a crap idea it was to go drinking with someone who doesn't talk.

"You like Inaba?" Dojima finally asks after he's finished all five. I nodded quickly. "Good— _I_ like it. That's why I moved out here." He signals to the bartender again and keeps talking. "Figured it'd be a nice place to live and work and eventually start a family. Everybody's  _nice_."

I nodded again. "Seems like it."

We lapsed into silence once more. I didn't know what to say and he didn't talk again until the third round.

The guy from before brought over another two bottles and left again. Dojima started on the first and then spoke. "Sure. Everybody's great until they don't know what to make of you... Then there's pity until you figure out how to ignore it. And then they're back to normal and then— _Bam_!" he punctuated that with a fist to the table.

I winced backwards, realizing he was starting to get pretty drunk.  _This'll be even less fun than I thought. I can't follow his rambling._ It's usually fun when people start blabbing whatever's on their minds, but I had no idea what he was talking about.

I was yanked from my thoughts when Dojima asked if I was going to finish mine. I shook my head and pushed it towards him. "Y'know, I could use some food," I tried. "I think I'm going to head out." I stood and stretched.  _Wonder how long I was here for?_

"Yeah, yeah," Dojima replied, downing the last glass and a half. "I'd better git back t'work." He stood too, grabbing the jacket I'd never seen him actually  _wear_.

Dojima clapped me on the back and told me to get home safe. I watched him drunkenly make his way to the door. "Sir you—" I called.

_He didn't pay…_

The guy behind the counter motioned me over. He shook his head sadly. "Don't worry—We send him the bill."

"Oh," I said, not knowing what I should say here.

"Yeah," the guy amiably told me. "It's a shame, the accident and all."

"Huh?" I asked.

He raised an eyebrow, confused. "Are you new here? How do you _not_ know?"

"Yeah," I told him. "Moved to town this week."

" _That_ explains it." he replied. "I've never seen him drink with anyone else before..." I nodded, interested in what had happened to make my usually diligent coworker such a sot.

"There was a hit-and-run a few years ago. His wife was killed, and they never found the guy—He's been a wreck since then. And the poor  _kid_!" he says, raising his voice a little.

" _What_ kid?" I asked, lost again.

The guy's eyes widened. "You didn't know he has a little girl?"

I mutely shook my head.  _Whoa_ _..._ "Then why's he never go home? Did she move in with family?"

"You tell me," the guy responds, raising an eyebrow.

"Thanks, I guess," I mumble, and head out myself.

_I can finally go home!!_

So why were my feet taking me back to the station instead?

It wasn't as long a walk back, now that I knew where I was going. Sure enough, the lights were still on in our office even though it was past eleven—I could see them shining brightly through the window.

 _I don't want to get involved with these people_ , I complained to myself, even though I was already opening the back door—And how a police station could leave their doors unlocked _completely_ baffled me.

I pushed the office door open to find Dojima asleep at his desk. He'd poured himself more liquor and was snoozing on some files. I banged on the jamb a few times so I wouldn't scare him.

_Yeah, that didn't work._

" _Shit!_ " he screams. "M’not sleepin’!" Then his eyes adjust and he notices me. "Oh. A 'chi. S’just you. Cover f'r me."

...Does he even know what  _day_  it is?

"D-Dojima-san. It's st-still _Saturday_!"

"Hnn," he raised his head for a second. " _'Bye_ then." He closed the file and shuffled it in a drawer before laying back down.

"Shouldn't you go home?" I pressed, a little worried.

Dojima slapped the desk. "M'fine. Git back to work!"

I sighed and walked over. "Don't you have a little daughter?"

"D’sn't like me."

I frowned. _I sure can't imagine _why_..._

"Well you shouldn't leave her all alone, right?" I protested.

"Ain't goin’ home. Don'like it there," he slurs.

I sighed. "You shouldn't sleep here."

"No'ne cares..."

_It took me a second to process that—_ _How often does this happen?!_

This scene was too sad, even for me. "Okay. Okay." The wheels were turning, but I wasn't getting far. "Okay... Come on."  _This is another bad idea._  "You can sleep on my couch."

I walked over to the other man, planning to pull him out his feet.

"No, A'dchi! M'fine here," he punched out and struck me in the stomach. _Damn that _hurt_!_

"Son of a—!" I grabbed his arm and wrenched him to his feet in a fluid motion. _That's right: I paid attention to the subduing-a-suspect crap!_ "This is ridiculous—We're going. Gimme your keys!"

Stupefied— _and probably not used to being ordered around_ —Dojima fished them out of his pocket for me and collected his jacket. He tried to grab his glass too, but I glared and he put it back down, looking sheepish.

I didn't have a parking space, so I left his car down the block. "Can you walk a bit?" I asked, unsure.

"M'fine!" Dojima yelled, probably waking people up.

"Don't be so loud," I complained— _So he yelled that he wasn't yelling._

Up in my apartment, I sat him on the couch and fetched a pillow and blanket. "Go to sleep," I commanded. And thankfully, that was that.

I awoke the next morning to the loudest snoring I've heard in my life. _So much for sleeping in and not getting involved in people's lives…_

I left a note and walked into town to pick up food. I didn’t keep much around my apartment.

_This is a good start..._

I wasn't sure what to do about—well—any of the other stuff. But at least I got him to put down the booze for the evening.

Dojima wasn't a person I knew a lot about... And from what I did know: he was private and quick to anger.

_I'd rather be working with someone pleasant... And I'd already inserted myself into his business…_

I could either see it through or play dumb until the previous night inevitably repeated and he ended up drunk and dead somewhere.

It's not that I  _liked_  him, but I also didn't  _dis_ like him.

I bought coffee, soup, and tofu. It was a hassle to carry it all back.

When I arrived home again, Dojima was still asleep on the floor. I closed the door with a little more force than necessary, though— _That_ woke him.

"What?!" he shouted, disoriented. "What time is it? Where am I?!" He groaned and put a hand to his forehead.

"Yeah," I commented. "I'll  _bet_  you're hung-over..."

"Adachi?!" his head whipped around.

I waved. "Mornin'."

"Dammit!" he quickly checked his watch, ignoring me. "I have to get work!"

I brought over the coffee, and sat on the couch. "You don't want coffee?" I taunted.

"Huh? Yes..."

"Do you really work Sundays?" I asked, handing it over.

Dojima moved to the couch, frowning. "I work _every_ day."

"Do they pay you on Sundays?"

"...No."

"Right." I sighed, crossing my legs under me. "So do you want to talk about that... Whole mess..."

"What?" he asked, turning to me with a glazed look.

"Aah-ha."  _Awkward_. "You were really off last night. And I'm told that's not uncommon."

"No," he waved me off. "I'm fine."

"Okay..."

We sat in silence until his phone rang. Dojima grumbled, but picked it up with a brash “h’lo”.

I watched as he answered a bunch of questions, getting more and more agitated: " _No_... No... No, I'm  _not_  at home. No, I  _don't_  have any files with me… No, I don't know where the hell I am! ...Uh-huh.  _Adachi's_  here." _Frown._ "...Yup.  _Fuck you_ , _Ryuuji!_ " He jabbed the 'end' button aggressively and I thought it'd be better to wait until he felt like talking.

I drank my tea and waited.

Dojima grimaced several times, but finally relayed the conversation. "Sakamoto said if I come in today he's firing me."

" _Wow_ that's... Oh."

"Mmff," he grunted. "Why the hell am I here anyway?"

"Aah," I started. "You were sleeping at the office drunk. It was, uhm, sad? So I told you to come sleep here."

He narrowed his eyes. " _Sad_?"

I nodded, unsure how bad of a word choice I had made. "Yeah!" I covered. "Why sleep there when you have your own house and... Uhm, friends?"

He glared at me, his face twisting in disdain. "You're not my friend, _rookie_.” He jabbed me in the chest for emphasis.

"Dojima-san—Shut up!" I snapped— _Just _lost_  it._

" _Shut up!!_ " I repeated and his eyes widened, but he didn't say anything else. "Some days you're okay, and some days you're an  _ass_ , but you've clearly got issues you need to deal with. I'm trying to be helpful, so—So just...  _Just accept it, yeah_?"

His mouth quirked into another unsavory expression, but then he smiled the tiniest bit. "Fine. But I'm not a nice guy. _So don't expect much._ " I laughed at that.

"Don't sell yourself short. I liked the tie."

"Mmhm."

"Okay," I stood. "I got food, if you're hungry."

Dojima sighed and checked his watch again. "How about you just come over for lunch. If I'm not going to work I should go home."

"Really?" I perked up, kind of excited.

"Yes," he said, frowning. "You can meet Nanako. She likes company."

I couldn't help smiling. I knew things wouldn't straighten out right away, but this seemed good.

I felt  _happy_ , then. And something else I couldn't describe. Something I'd never felt before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Re-Edited 6/13/17


	12. Your Affection (Ryoutarou)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The setting: Yomotsu Hirasaka.  
> >Go back to the Sea of Souls?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like I shouldn't even need a note for this song: It's from the game!!  
> Other notes... I'm doing something that probably isn't "a thing". So the Jester is the inverted Fool, yeah? What if you could flip your card by doing things differently? By becoming either a better or shittier person, you could slightly change your arcana? Have I stretched things too far?!

Chapter Twelve: Your Affection

(Ryoutarou)

I don't know where I am.

It's dark in front of me, but light behind. Like the sun's setting... Except there  _is_ no sun.

I'm on a sharply sloping hill leading down to the ocean. Which is nice. I haven't been to the sea in a long time.

I walk closer to the water's edge and sit down, content to gaze out at the empty horizon.

But the longer I look, the more I notice...

Like how little lights are floating in and out of the bleak, colorless water. And how people on boats are the ones facilitating the exchange of light entering and exiting the pulsating darkness.

But they don't really look like people—The ones I glimpse illuminated by the orbs—

But if they're not people...

Well that leads to more frightening thoughts.

Because I don't think I'm dreaming.

I look down to pinch myself and realize I can't see my body.

Then how did I sit?

—Wait, where  _am_ I?

I feel so thirsty... Maybe it's actually a lake and I can drink the water. That's a nice thought. It looks so inviting. I'd love to swim.

I glance down again to see what I'm wearing, only then remembering I can't see my legs or any other part of my body. Which really  _is_ disconcerting.

I move closer to the vast sea, only to realize it's a lot further away then I thought. I get frustrated and rest again.

I have this unabating _need_ to go there. It looks pleasant. And inviting. And sheltered.

I feel conflicted. Like my mind wants to relax, but I know I have somewhere to be.

The house...

Something happened at the house...

_Something_ _..._

...But  _what_?

I can't shake it loose, no matter how I look back on the situation. The last thing I remember is saying hello to Nanako— _Does she need me?_

I back up, attempting to climb to the top of the hill, but I'm not gaining much ground in this direction, either.

One of the boats is pushing up on the shore—

And I don't want to see that  _Thing_ up close.

It's dark and towering and moving like the water.

But I can't help being transfixed as It moves toward me.

I don't know how l close it is, though It's voice rings loudly when it talks.

"This is unusual. You are resisting returning to the Sea."

I think I'm lost, I try to say when It waits an uncomfortably long time for an answer. I wait for It to continue, but the thing seems content to give me time.

I was at home... And now I'm here. I think something went wrong.

"No one ends up here by accident. It is meant to be."

It stares through me, like I'm an open book.

Really, there's been some mistake. I need to wake up.

I absolutely have to see them!!

Light ripples out from me: red pulses, injected with an all-consuming black light—

If such a thing should even  _exist_!

"Once you accept your past, you can begin again."

I can go back?

"Not as you once were. You will start a new journey—"

It suddenly stops speaking and looks skywards.

"Ah. A Fool is coming to bring you back, though you may still cross over if you wish. The decision is yours."

A fool? What?

But I don't like it here. I don't want to leave Nanako and Tohru alone.

What would happen to them—Neither one can live on their own.

But the ocean looks like the right choice.

"You may see the turning point in your bond to make the decision."

Turning point? What’s that about a bond?

I can feel the eyeless monster studying me.

"The Jester has inverted. You may take a look."

**\---***---**

It's the prison. I see Tohru lounging on his small bed, staring at the ceiling.

_So boring._

What?

_And Dojima didn't even come today..._

_...He finally gave up._ I see him laugh bitterly, clutching at his head.

Tohru? He doesn't look like he's talking.

_I should be happy. I'm a waste._

There is noise coming from the hall. Getting louder.

"—and we have to lock you in, okay? Keep the walky-talky in your hand and press here if he's violent. I'll be back in a little over an hour."

"Sounds good," I hear myself reply.

Wait—

 _He's here! He really pulled it off!_ A wide-eyed Tohru sits up, then promptly slaps himself across the face.  _Frigging pull it together!_

His expression hardens instantly; that usual, downcast look.

_He shouldn't be here. Fucking bullshit. Should just stay away._

I see the door clanking open, and myself walking in.

...They're thoughts. Tohru's thoughts.

_This needs to be the last time._

"So you decided to show," he sneers from the cot.

I look so tired...

I see myself glance at him wearily and toss the walky-talky onto a table built into the wall. "You said there was too much commotion—So here I am. I can't swing this all the time, but we have until rec is over."

_Go away._

Tohru glares back at me. "Oh _yes_! Try again and again to break through to me. Because you know me so well..." He theatrically sighs. "You give in so easily, these days. Too bad the real me is an _asshole_."

I ignore him and wave a stack of papers. "You need to approve the lawyer and turn your apartment keys over to me."

 _I can't actually get out!_ "Yeah, nice try. I already told them everything."

I see myself put down the papers and fold my arms, studying the man before me. "Tell them in a way they can swallow."

 _I'm sick of this. It's all more of the same_ —‘ _Tohru, do this. Tohru, say that. Tohru, perform like a fucking monkey.’_

"I _didn't_ lie."

I see myself shrug. "Fine. Keep saying that and you can plead insanity."

Tohru leans forward and grips his head between his hands.  _Fuck. I don't care! What a freaking waste. There's nothing for me in here or out there._

_At last here I'm left alone._

I stomp towards him. "Tohru—Cut it out!" I sharply command. I see myself place my hand on his shoulder and he sharply glances up at me, but it isn't filled with the now-usual loathing or anger.

He looks... So empty.

"Let's make a plan. I told you I'm going to get you out of here."

He studies me with clear contempt. "You can't do  _anything_."

I shake my head. "One thing I learned from all this is that anyone can do anything. I'm not giving up."

He twists his face into a frown.

"What do you want?" I entreat Tohru.

"Anything I want?" he grins wickedly.

I tentatively nod.

" _Kill me._ "

_Just kill me._

That’s when my temper boils over. "Just come here and  _shut up_." I sit down on the bed and tug Tohru's arm, pulling him to sit next to me.

He stares at me with narrowed eyes. "What?"

"What do you  _want_?! You're twenty-eight! You've got a lot of life left. Are you really content to spend it all in this shithole?"

He glances at my hand.  _No._

I follow his gaze and release his arm, slipping my own around him instead. "I'm taking this as a 'no'."

_Why would you help me?_

_Why would you want to help me?_

_It's easier if you hate me._

"Why don't you hate me?" Tohru finally asks, and I remember his eyes boring into my own, now alight and searching.

My answer was simple. I recall it to the word: "Because I love you. I like you. I want you to get better. It's foolish, but I want to see the  _happy_  you again."

_He's dead. My eyes are the proof._

"So let me help you. Let it be  _my_  mistake, if that's what you're thinking."

"You don't know—" Tohru starts, but I cut him off.

"I know you well enough. Sign the papers."

_What would if I do go free?_

_Doubt I'll find a job._

_All my shit's still in Inaba._

"I'm letting your lease go," I sigh, changing the subject when he doesn't move.

Tohru looks up at me sharply.  _What the hell? I'll have nowhere to go…_

I can see myself scratching my face sheepishly at his confusion. "I'll keep your things in the empty room for now and you can live with me."

He gapes, opening and closing his mouth like a fish.

 _Fucking idiot. That's the biggest bullshit_ —

"I could  _kill_  you!" Tohru challenges, incredulous. He tries to jerk away form me but I don’t let him go; just stare him down until he groans and looks away.

"You could've done that  _already_ ," I pointedly reply, tightening my grip on Tohru and letting a smile slip.

 _I shouldn't trust him._ He flicks his eyes around the room, thinking.  _But it is my best option._

_And there's no way they'll let me go, so what does it matter?_

"Whatever you want!" Tohru spits, finally sitting still. "I don't have anything to lose."

_I could gain hope._

_I could lose hope._

_I won't let myself have it—_

But he did.

That's why he's in Inaba now.

Tohru.

He's—

Wait, where is he?

—Tohru, everything's going  _red_ —

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Re-Edited 6/13/17


	13. Fate, After All (Tohru)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adachi finds his way to the border, reawakening Izanagi with ease. He's got some 'splaining to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys! GUYSS!!! The series title comes into play in this chapter. That makes me so happy!

Chapter Thirteen: Fate, After All

(Tohru) 

"So what do I do?" I yell at the demon as we run up the staircase.

"Hooo! Izanagi will come out again if you call him. I can feel it, hoo~ Call him at the slope, or you cannot return here." The squishy black thing rotates in the air, looking far too at ease. "You became bound on this path by me—And because of your bond."

_I want to stop and tell Nanako that it's going to be okay, but I don't think there's time. Black Frost is ushering me straight to my room and he did say I have to hurry._

"Follow me, hee!" the snowman commands, floating right through the television screen. "I will help my friend~"

 _Shit_. I have to be quick.

I twist around, wondering where my suitcase went. _The damn thing shouldn't be hard to find in such a tiny room..._

I finally spot it in the corner, tucked between a bookcase and the wall. "Fuck!" I curse, fumbling with the lock. Once it's open, I dig through the purposely useless crap I've stuffed in here to hide my extra guns. I yank out a small handgun and push the suitcase back out of sight.

I teleport less than a foot away and my anklet lands on the futon.  _Good. Worked._

I hear the front door bang open as I'm climbing through my TV, hoping the frigging Frost will send me where I belong. _Fuck if I know how to get there._

It feels like I'm swimming through muck for a time, and then I'm free-falling through the sky, plunging towards what appears to be the top of wide cliff.

" _Izanagi!_ " I shout, and thankfully it appears below, catching me so I don't die like an idiot in the middle of Bumfuck Nowhere. We float to the ground, and I watch as Frost circles around us excitedly.

 _My Izanagi is just as I remember him:_ a bloody, evil-looking giant with razor-sharp claws. His eyes glow the same golden color as my own. I can't help grinning, baring my teeth at the figure.

On my feet, I look over at the dark snowman. "Where are we?" I ask, glancing around at what appears to be an absolutely barren, endless stretch of hard-packed earth.

It's light enough that I have no problem seeing, but dark enough that I can see points of light every once in a while. I'm starting to wonder if my shadow eyes are more helpful than I’m willing to credit.

I do a sweep of the area, realizing that many of the lights are streaming by us. Innumerable twinkling orbs are moving at different speeds, trickling off the edge of the cliff. Way less come back. My gut twists when I look closely at them.

"The border to the land of Yomi, the Sea of Souls is beyond, ho!"

Izanagi drifts over, wanting a closer look at our target. "So Ryoutarou is down there, somewhere?" I study the incline, wondering how I'm supposed to work my way down without falling into the water— _Which I'm assuming would be really, really bad._

"Hee hooo!" my companion sighs. "Do you know the story of Izanami? She is the one who gave you your fragment of her lover."

"Her lover? Izanagi?" I glance up at my original persona, who turns to stare back at me.

"Ho," Frost replies. "Izanagi came here himself to retrieve her before she was lost to the Sea. Because he is your persona, you were able to call for his aid, hoo, in your time of need."

_Shit—I'd rather it was my problem alone._

" _You became bound on this path by me."_

_Wait—Fuck._

_Fuck this!!_

" _All_ this happened just so I could summon Izanagi back?" I demand.

The small demon simply nods.

_Fucking piece of shit!_

I can feel anger suddenly bursting out, coming off me in waves. Frost doesn't seem to care, just drifts out of my reach.

"You  _made_  him die?!"

It nods again, not giving a shit. "You need Izanagi, hoo! You will need him for the trying times ahead."

I ball my hands into fists, digging my nails hard into my own flesh. _I need to see this through or it will all be over._

"Guide Izanagi to his soul," Black Frost encourages me, prodding to get me back on track. "You two must find him yourselves and bring it back to his body. I cannot enter the border... Only Izanagi and one with his powers, hooooo!"

I face Izanagi, unsure if this will work. _Ryoutarou sure as hell isn't an Izanami._

_Will it really be that easy?_

"Hee hoo! I will be waiting. Find the human.  _Quickly_ _!_ "

I instinctively know to hold out my hand towards Izanagi, who follows suit. Barely touching, we both move forward, him delicately bobbing and myself unsteadily clomping through the sticky, muddy, expanse that ends in darkness.

The shore didn't appear to be mores than fifty yards away, but it feels as though I've been waking for such a long time. Izanagi and I stare at the orbs that occasionally float by us, and I wonder if that's what Ryoutarou will look like, too.

"Which one is he, boy?" I laugh nervously, as if talking to a dog. If I can't figure it out, maybe  _he_  has a chance?

I cut parallel after we get about halfway to the water. I can see boats now, and figures riding them.

"He hasn't already left, has he?" I mutter. "He'd knows I'd come for him, right?" Izanagi stares back at me, his expression unchanged—Not that I know if he even  _has_  expressions. Only his eyes ever change.

_But I think I get the point._

"Yeah, I know. He never believed in any of this crap, so why would he think I'd be able to find him out here." A shaky laugh escapes me. "Fucking idiot probably thinks he's dreaming..."

We walk for what feels like  _forever_! I'm surprised that I haven't gotten hungry or have had to use the toilet by now.

 _I don't know how the frigging snowman expected me to hurry... The ground's so sticky and I'm the only one _not__   _floating. Major frigging disadvantage._

Izanagi finally yanks his arm away to point at a still, bright red light near the shore. I'm yanked up when he does this—I hadn't realize that we were literally connected.

I can see that the thing's bumping up and down erratically, and there's a figure nearby, looking carefully at it.

I try to move in the direction of the light, sensing that it's important. If it's not him, maybe the thing behind it can help me out. Izanagi floats steadily by my side as we close the distance.

The large, dark figure turns its head towards me—Not that it's  _much_  of a head! It's more of an elongated, rectangular, emptiness. I just get the _feeling_ that it's a head.

"You match," it belts in a sonorous voice.

I can't help freezing in place, feeling a prickly nervousness at the tone.

It turns back to the glowing red ball. "The choice is yours," it says.

_It's him!_

The only word my brain is capable of sounding out at this moment is his name:  _Ryoutarou_.

I've said it aloud before I even realize I'm doing it, and instinctively the red light shoots towards us. I stretch my hand out to accept it, only just noticing that I'm also glowing as red as the orb and Izanagi.

"Fate, after all," the voice speaks once more and the retreats back toward the shore.

I'm already turning around to retrace my steps, not wanting to see the figure move back through the invisible border—The border that Ryoutarou had unwittingly drawn so goddamn close to.

Izanagi leads me back, the return more his territory. He knows this place much better than I do.

With the hope—shit,  _hope_ —I've found, the trip back feels much quicker. When we’re reaching flat ground once more, Izanagi severs the connection, accepting the orb himself, while I regain full control over my own body.  _Fuck, that's draining!_

I stretch and crack my stiff joints as Black Frost meets us. "Hee! You've done it!" I look up at him, irritated.  _Of course I did it, jackass!_  "Izanagi can return the human to its body at anytime, hoo~"

_Yeah, return him straight to his body. He'll just wake up and accept everything super-easy, right?_

_Hell no!!_

"I'd like to explain this a bit first. Is there time for that?"

"Hooo, yes! Now that you have his essence time is not an issue. This world is not bound by the same systems."

"Izanagi, work it out," I order and warp us to the model living room I slept in during my 'time away'. Secreting safe spaces was a better idea than I'd realized. _I should plan ahead more._

It looks the same as ever. It's the winter setup, including the kotatsu, blankets, plies of work on the table, and jackets thrown by the door. I pace until I see Izanagi and Ryoutarou. He looks completely miffed, patting his—probably not physical—body in distress.

When he finally looks around, he's gaping at the fact that he's home. It only takes about ten seconds for him to realize, though.

"This..." he tentatively tries. " _Isn't_ my house."

I nod, unsure where to start. Frost warps in by the front door and Ryoutarou jumps, skittering further away.

" _That_  one scares you, but not my Izanagi?" I childishly quip, oddly happy at that. "Ignore them. They're my demons."

Maybe not the best choice of words. Ryoutarou is  _definitely_  in shock. He turns in a circle and then sits down where he is, right on the hardwood floor. He has a glazed look about him. "What—!" He shakes his head in disbelief.

I chew on my lip, wondering how I can break this delicately. I instinctively take my normal seat at the kotatsu, settling under the blanket. "Uhh..."

"Where the hell am I?!" Ryoutarou finally blurts, his head in his hands.

"The TV World is real," is all I can think to reply. He looks up at me as though I'm the one who's gone crazy.

"Tohru... Did—di-did you  _drug_   _me_?!"

"Fuck!  _No_ _!_ " I shout. "You never believed any of us, but this is where the missing people went—"

I'm cut off by his horrified look. "I'm... _Dead?_ " His voice sounds hollow and disbelieving.

"Not because you're inside the TV, though!" I assure him.

_...Okay maybe that isn't helpful._

"Dammit."  _How do I even put this?!_  "You were stabbed. Today. By..." I stop and frown. "Well, we don't know who. I'm bringing you back to your body, but I wanted to try and tell you everything first. The  _whole_  truth, this time."

Ryoutarou sighs and crosses his legs, nervously eyeing the two monsters in the room. "This doesn't feel real." He's firm about that, and how can I argue? _It didn't seem real to me at first, either._

"Well, heh, can't get worse right?" I try, slipping back into my goony personality.

Ryoutarou glares. "Cut the shit."

"Okay," I sigh. "If people end up in here and can't defend themselves, they're murdered by monsters and tossed back into our world. I didn't know that at first, only figuring it out when I accidentally shoved Yamano through her TV set." I pause for a breath and he's eyeing me suspiciously, still not coming any closer.

I groan heavily. I choose my words carefully, knowing that I'm damned if I do tell him, but also damned if I lie. "Saki was on purpose. I was... Upset that she..."  _Words…_   _He already knows…_  "Was... Rude to me. Namatame did the others, thinking he was saving them."

Ryoutarou stares at me guardedly—As if he could even defend himself in here. I seriously don't think his body is even solid. It's probably an apparition so he feels more comfortable.

I poke at the quilt, not wanting to continue. "You were already into this more than you know."

"What?" he pointedly questions.

I stretch my legs and hear a clank. Ryoutarou jumps.

I reach under the table and pull out there mugs: mine, his, and Nanako's. I set them on the table—Really, seriously,  _fucking truly_  wanting to end the conversation here.

"Where's Yuu's?" he naively inquires.

I hear a bitter laugh escape my throat. "This is  _my_  world. He doesn't have one." I don't look him in the eye, choosing to rest my head on the table as he replies with a simple “oh”.

After a minute, Ryoutarou clears his throat—as I knew he would. And asks me to explain the rest methodically—as I knew he would.

"I've brought you here—not here, here—but through the TV once before. You were hurt, a lot, and I couldn't use my power to heal you out there. So you, maybe,  _uh_ , kind of already had the effects of this world in you. I don't think you have power like I do, but I could help you get it."

Ryoutarou is silent again.

"You don't have to," I obtusely tell him. "But if things aren't going to go back to normal, anyway, I wanted to at least give you the option."

He eyes me warily, but I don't have anymore to tell unless he has questions. "Do you want to go back now? You can ask me anything later," I numbly instruct. "And I understand if you do want me gone."

Ryoutarou rolls his eyes. "Shut up, Tohru—Don't be a moron." He stands and walks over to me. "Let's go home."

I motion to Izanagi and Black Frost, then send myself back to our world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Re-Edited 6/14/17


	14. Elephants in the Room (Ryoutarou)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dojima is okay! But seriously, kids, wtf have you been doing?? He's the only one out of the loop, and seeing how he's so set in his ways, this is really throwing him.

Chapter Fourteen: Elephants in the Room

(Ryoutarou) 

It feels like waking up from a dream. A  _freaking painful_  dream where I was drowning and being shot over and over again. My hands are grasping at my chest, and I'm sucking in huge, wheezy gulps of air, hyperventilating and spitting up— _I don't want to know what all that is._

I see Tohru looming over me, with Teddie, the red monster, and the black snowman all nearby. When I realize my hands are clutching my chest, I pull them away and they're covered in partially-dried blood.

The first time I try to talk, nothing comes out. My throat feels completely raw and I can taste bitter metal in my mouth. I clear my throat and cough until I think I'm going to pass out, but then rasp out a meager "what the crap".

Tohru and Teddie move closer, the small boy looking like he's going to hug me, until Tohru hurls him backwards on his ass. I laugh faintly and cough some more. "Shit."

I'm handed a glass of water.

"Are... Are you okay?" Tohru asks, sounding and looking sincerely concerned.

I nod, then pull up my shirt to check the damage. More closed wounds.  _Don't know what I expected._

Three gashes cut down my chest and stomach, already almost healed. They look like evidence from a knifing that happened at least six months ago. I can't say anything, only stare dumbly at the fact that all of this happened—in what I'm assuming has been less than a day—and that I'm mostly fine.

 _God_.

 _This_  is what those kids have been up to?

_This is what so many of Adachi's vicious-looking scars came from? Encounters with monsters?_

He called them  _demons_!

And there are  _two_  in my living room!

"D-d-dojima-san!" Teddie squeaks, completely unfazed by their presence. "I'm so sorry!" he blubbers and elbows through Tohru to wrap his tiny arms around me this time. I roll my eyes while Tohru looks on angrily.

"Leave him alone! He just got stabbed," Tohru censures.

Teddie is crying, though, so I put an arm around him, shooting the other man a helpless look. Tohru rolls his eyes and says he's going to fetch the others.

Nanako and Kanji rush down the stairs, but my daughter stops dead when she sees the gruesome state of the room and I. Not to mention the beaten, passed-out man crumpled on the floor.  _Who is he?_

"D-dad!" she yips. "What happened?!"

"Ah," I falter. "I don't... Quite know." I glance down at my ruined shirt and all the blood.

"But I'm okay!" I try to reassure her. That's what a parent's supposed to do, though I get the feeling  _she_  knows more than  _me_.

"Somebody better friggin' tell me!" Kanji roars, stomping past her to roll over the figure on the floor. Nanako sits on the bottom step, looking unsure.

"Yah!" Kanji screams. "Ho shit you guys! He looks familiar!"

We all peer at the casually-dressed, nondescript man. Nothing about him rings a bell for me.

Tohru steps over and points at his face. "Mole. Left eye," he tells us. "Bratty kid I threw in the TV."

"Huh?" Kanji gasps.

Teddie leans in closer to the man and sniffs the air. "Yeaaaah! How'd you remember?"

"How did you  _forget_?" Tohru snubs the younger boy. "You idiots saved him."

"Yes, we _did_." Kanji balls his fists, glaring at Tohru. "And you're the one who put him in there. Or did you happily forget that loads of people here  _hate_  you?"

"Fuh!" Tohru snorts, folding his arms. "I haven't left the house. Who would know I'm here? It's not like anyone saw me—" His eyes grow wide as he twists to look at the black demon. "Have you seen him before?" Tohru interrogates, narrowing his eyes.

"Hooo?" it replies.

"Time out!" Kanji crosses his arms in an ‘X’ and stands back up. "Can  _every_ body here see them right now?"

The demon floats over to him. "Hee ho! Anyone can see me right now!"

"You sure leave a lot," Tohru accuses. "Did you show yourself to him?"

It floats back to the kitchen, shimmering out of view. "You needed to reawaken Izanagi, hoo!"

" _Jackass_ _!_ " Tohru screams, thumping the wall.

Kanji finally continues his train of thought, his eyes searching Tohru. "Why is your Izanagi here? And why are there shadows outside the TV?!"

"That can happen," Teddie tells him. "Things are changing."

"He said he couldn't summon him anymore!" Kanji protests, jabbing a finger at Tohru.

Teddie anxiously shoots a look at Tohru, who looks bored at the topic of conversation. "He couldn't before. I don't know what happened."

"I didn't lie~" Tohru jeers.

"You freaking son of a bitch!" Kanji stomps towards him, and I see the tall red one shoot across the room, landing between the two.

"Ooh I wouldn't do that. You can't call yours here, can you, Kanji-kun?"  _Goddammit_ —Tohru looks terrifying as he taunts the other man, jaunting around the demon and poking him in the chest.

Kanji gives him a dirty look and walks over to sit at the table. "What now?" he changes the subject.

"We could—" Tohru flicks his eyes to me and mimes something I don't understand.

Apparently the others don't get it either, because they just stare at him.

"Never mind," Tohru grumbles, folding his arms.

The fact that not one of them seems even slightly concerned that that there are  _demons in the living room,_  or that  _I was just stabbed,_  is making my body numb with shock. I don't trust myself to speak—I don't even think I could yell at them right now. It's just _too much_.

I look around at each face, stopping with Nanako because she's watching me back. I know that look—It's one of  _my_  looks. She's clearly assessing my mental state.

"Dad, why don't you go take a shower and put on some clean clothes?" she carefully asks me.

And for the first time in many, many years, I feel like the child bring sent away from the adult conversation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Re-Edited 6/14/17


	15. Stand-Up (Teddie)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The crew discusses the situation, receives an unexpected (read: unwanted) visitor, and deals with Kubo. My favorite chapter to write this time!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm unsure if I've addressed this before—  
> I am using what I know and have learned about prisons, sentences, and records in the US. I know next to nothing about all of that in Japan, but have been able to ask questions of American friends who have had family members either in jail, prison, under house arrest, or all of the above. They were all very helpful!!

Chapter Fifteen: Stand-Up

(Teddie)

Everyone's pulled so tight I'm worried they'll snap like  _'shoom'_  when a rubber band flies across the room. We're all trying to decide how to handle the situation. And  _thank god_  black-hair's still out cold, because we don't even know what to make of his tailing me and coming here.

Dojima went upstairs in a total daze, like he's on autopilot. _Are these things harder for older people to accept? Nanako doesn't seem bothered, so I won't say anything…_

"How are we gonna clue him in when he's been calling us lairs for years?" Kanji demands.

Adachi smirks. "He took it pretty well when we were on the other side. I guess seeing really is believing!"

Nanako smiles a little, but it falters when Kanji grumbles a bunch of swears.

"We just have to protect him, too," I voice.

Adachi looks at me like I'm dumb. "I'm sure he can get a persona."

"What?" Kanji barks. "Just toss him in there and see what screwed-up mess his mind twists into like the rest of us? What if he  _dies_?"

"Dunno," Adachi shrugs. "Maybe it'll be easy and I can go get him again. Worked once."

"That's not funny," Nanako interjects, shooting him a look.

Adachi holds up his arms defensively. "We should be able to go with him. He already  _probably_  has a shadow— _Uhm_. Heh. Y-you know?" _He's sweating._ "I think."

"What?!" Kanji jumps out of his chair, and paces the kitchen. "And just how would you know that, dipshit?!"

"I didn't think it mattered... I thought it would go away—If-if there even was one!"

"Wait wait wait!" I yell. "Aniki-chan  _is_  a shadow! He doesn't know what happens, I bet!"

"What happens?" Nanako pipes up. She never had a shadow, so she wouldn't know either.

"Uhhh," Kanji stalls, blushing furiously. "So-someone who looks like you but has yellow eyes rants about all the bullshit you feel on the inside. Then you have to admit it's true or it kills you." He nods at the end, seeming proud of his explanation.

Nanako, on the other hand, appears horrified. "Do I have one? Will I have to do this, too?"

" _No_ _!_ " Adachi rushes to reassure her, then sits on the couch. "Yours just happened, somehow... I don't think you need to do that."

"We would've seen it when you came with us last time if you had one!" I add.

"Yeah," Kanji wholeheartedly agrees. "I think you're fine, for some reason…" He sighs, regaining his composure. " _Wait_! Back up! What about Dojima having a shadow?"

"Eh—!" Adachi winces.

I look over at him, feeling worried. "If it's important, you need to tell us."  _Maybe it won't be too bad…_

Adachi groans and yanks on his hair. "When someone goes into a television, their shadow usually separates from them, right?"

I nod.

"So," Adachi continues. "If you don't  _see_  a person's shadow, maybe they don't have one?"

"I don't buy it," Kanji breaks in. "Has he been in the TV?" Adachi glances at me and then Nanako. " _Yes_ or _no_?" Kanji barks.

Adachi's gaze finally rests on me. "I don't have all the answers!" I shout, afraid they're all relying on me too much.

"Yes," Adachi turns away. "B-but I had to!" he speedily adds.  _I think Kanji's head is going to explode!_

"You were gonna kill him!?" my friend shouts, his eyes nearly popping out of his head.

"No!" Adachi yelps. "I wasn't!"  _This isn't sounding good…_  "It was dangerous— _yeah_ —so I hid him in the TV!"

 _That's shifty._  I fold my hands, waiting to see how the others react. Kanji's glaring tightly, and Nanako looks like she has more questions. "Well," I speak. "It happened, right?" When there are no further outbursts, I keep going. "What did you see, Aniki-chan?"

Adachi's eyes lock onto my own when I use his nickname.  _Did it work? Does he trust me a little?_

Adachi clears his throat before he speaks again. "It was dark. No shadows approached us. Not his, not  _any_  of them." He sounds certain—It sounds like he's telling the truth. Kanji's quiet, so I think he buys it.

_I don't think any weak shadows would approach Adachi. He listened to the shadows, so they wouldn't have attacked him._

I wish I had someone else to talk to. Who wasn't a hot-head.

_I miss Sensei._

"Does the place still exist?" I question.

Adachi shrugs, looking annoyed. "I didn't see a need to seal it."  _It must tire him out, too._

Kanji sighs. "Then we'll need to check it out."

"So..." I glance at the others, still edgy and concerned about the huge, glaring, number-one issue right this minute! "Mole-san over there..."

"He's Kubo," Adachi sighs. "And I broke some ribs. I knocked him out by punching the side of his head. I bet he has a concussion."

Nanako rises, on a mission. She walks over and heals him without a second thought. He's still not waking up, but he definitely isn't dead. We all gape at her.

"What?" she innocently asks. "Do you want to explain this to the police? Cause Dad is one. He'd have to go to the hospital and if we bring him they'll think we did it."

 _It makes sense._  Kanji and Adachi look to me and I shrug.

Kanji looks over at Kubo angrily. "We'll find out what the hell's going on when he gets up."

"We should clean the blood," Nanako quietly observes, and heads for the sink.

I follow her immediately. "I'll help!" I smile. She hands me an old towel and some soap.

"Just go for bleach," is Adachi's unfazed advice. "It's quicker."

I hear Kanji groan and mutter something that sounds an awful lot like "fucking madhouse".

While Nanako and I start scrubbing the floor, I see Adachi pick up the kitchen-knife-turned-murder-weapon. He glares at it before taking it to the sink for a wash.

We all freeze in place when the doorbell rings. I glance at Kanji, who shoots Adachi a look, who shrugs like it doesn't matter. When the bell rings for a second time, I look at Nanako, who puts a finger to her lips.

There is no third ring, just thumping and a voice asking if Dojima's in.

"Me," Kanji nominates himself, taking a breath and then moving to open the door a crack. "H'lo?" he asks, trying to sound normal.  _Too normal!_

"Yes, hello!" a male voice replies. "Who are you?"

"Tatsumi," Kanji offers.

We hear a slight gasp of recognition. "Ooh!" the man chirps. "The punk!"

"What?" Kanji's pleasantness grinds to an instant halt. I can practically hear his attitude sharpening. "Who're _you_?" he demands.

"O-oh, sorry!" the man appeases him. We're all very still while we wait. It's really uncomfortable.

You can practically hear the smile in the man's voice. "I'm Yamamura! I started at the station last month! I'm Dojima-san's new partner. I've heard a lot about you from my coworkers."

I swear I hear Adachi hiss.  _Hiss!_

_That's not a normal reaction, right?_

Nanako looks up at Adachi, her forehead creasing in worry.

_Kanji's not the only one with a temper anymore..._

"So, ah, what do you need?" Kanji asks.

"A disturbance was called in," the man explains. "Sakamoto-sama said that he takes all calls in this area, but he's already gone home. So I thought I'd pop by and see if I could clear it up with my partner without having to file the complaint officially!"

"He's, uh, sleeping!" Kanji covers for us. "Can you put down that you talked to me instead?"

"Hmm," the man thinks. "Is Nanako-chan home at least? I really am supposed to speak with someone in the household."

"I can talk," Adachi grunts. Nanako waves him away, wanting to see how Kanji can play this.

"Can you wait here while I go check?" Kanji asks.

_Things take a bad turn—_

"If Nanako-chan isn't here, and Dojima-san is sleeping, then what are you doing here, Tatsumi-san?" Yamamura sharply demands.

"Reading!" Kanji blurts. "I don't have a lot of books, myself. I wanted some books to look at."

I do my best not to laugh, reaching out and squeezing Nanako's hand.

" _Just gimme a minute!_ " Kanji orders a little too forcefully and comes back in, slamming the door behind himself. "Dammit!" he flicks his eyes around. He keeps his voice low and mostly even. "The blood's a paint project you did for school, Nanako. Adachi get the friggin' stabby dude in the downstairs bathroom!"

Izanagi dissipates as Adachi easily drags Kubo to the bathroom in the back. I run to the couch and flick on the TV. Nanako throws the bloody towels under the sink and then jogs back over to Kanji. Adachi joins me on the couch as Kanji reopens the door.

"Here she is!" he calls, shoving Nanako in front of him. The door is pushed the rest of the way open and a neat-looking guy with glasses appears. He looks older than Kanji, maybe around Adachi's age.

Speaking of—Adachi is drilling a hole through him with his razor-sharp eyes. If looks could kill!  _Brr!_

"Oh," the man says in surprise. "There were a lot of you here!"

He sidesteps Kanji and looks around the room. I scoot closer to Adachi and elbow him so he'll glance at me and stop glaring at the other guy.

"I'm Yamamura! I work at the station."

You could near a pin drop!

 _And_  the noise it makes when it hits the floor!

"It looks like everything's okay here... Uh." He looks a little lost. "Are you Nanako-chan? You're okay with all these guys?" He smiles at her but nervously eyes Adachi and I.

"Mmhmm!" she happily tells him. "These are my friends. They came to hang out with me today!"

"Really?" Yamamura asks, dubious. "That one especially—" He points to Adachi. "Looks a little old to be your friend..."

This is like one of those dramas where the hostage has to give some kind of a signal to the police!

 _Wait_ —

_That's bad._

That means he thinks  _we're_  the  _bad guys!_

I feel like a ball of nerves, wondering how we can clear this up. Adachi crosses his legs and makes things worse before any of us can come up with an idea, though. "I'm Ryou's friend," he snips.

Yamamura,  _the policeman,_  is now staring right at Adachi's  _prison bracele_ t! "Is that right?" he slowly asks. "Because everyone says Dojima-san doesn't have friends. Now where is he again?"

While he's speaking, we hear the bathroom door upstairs close.  _Actual Dojima!_

"Hello?" Yamamura calls, moving to the base of the stairs but not taking his eyes off of us.

"Hello _what_?" I hear Dojima yell back.

"Dojima-san?" Yamamura asks.

"Who the hell is it now?" Dojima screams again, probably not realizing it's someone from work. There are footsteps and then an "Oh."

Dojima walks down the stairs, surveying the scene. He's in loose clothes and still carrying a small towel, looking wet and angry. "What are you doing here, Yamamura?" he scowls.

"Well, there was a call about your house so I thought I would take it for you."

"Uh-huh," Dojima folds his arms.

"But it looks like you were home, after all, so I'll go ahead and delete the citation."

"Okay, you do that," Dojima tells him. He looks around and points to the only girl in the room. "You met Nanako?"

"Yes!" Yamamura enthusiastically replies. "It is nice to finally meet you."

"Same," Nanako responds with a strained smile.

I think we're finally done, but then clueless Yamamura  _has_  to ask about Adachi. "But who's your friend? They all say you don't have friends," the man laughs, clearly unable to read a situation.

Dojima scowls again and doesn't answer for a minute. Adachi looks over at him defiantly. " _Tohru,_ " Dojima concedes, looking like he's playing losing game of Chicken with Adachi.

"This isn't really my place to ask," Yamamura nervously trails off. When Dojima stares him down, the man stupidly continues. I swallow hard, waiting for someone to blow up. Now there's  _three_  of those in the room... "But you have a neighbor who's under house arrest? I hadn't seen any notes about someone like that in the area."

Dojima's turning red and looking really unhappy. "He's not my neighbor," he snaps.

"Then why is he... You can't go on trips if you're under house arrest?"

Adachi's eyes are practically sparkling! "I  _live_  here!" he throws gas on the fire. Yamamura looks surprised, while Dojima looks like he'd punch Adachi if he were within reach.

"He's not been entered in as a favor from Ryuuji," Dojima evenly explains, making it clear it's private by using only the chief’s first name.

"Okay, then." Yamamura nods and walks over to the couch. He extends a hand to Adachi. "It's nice to meet you...?" He stretches out the phrase, fishing for a last name.

"Adachi," he replies, not quite suppressing his grin.

Yamamura recoils instantly! He yanks his hand back as his expression hardens and he looks a bit scared. "I-I'm sorry," he tries. "You're A-Adachi...?"

"Tohru!" Adachi happily supplies his full name, giving off a goofy smile this time. "Adachi Tohru! Good to meet you too~" He grabs the other man's hand and pumps it enthusiastically a few times.

Dojima is rubbing the bridge of his nose, definitely pissed off now.

"W-what a coincidence!" Yamamura stammers. "Ha ha... Ha."

_This is too uncomfortable._

"I'm sure you can keep this to yourself, Yamamura?" Dojima quips. "No one in town knows that anyone lives here aside from Nanako and I."

"Of course!" the nervous man assures us.

"You better~" Adachi sings and draws his thumb across his throat. _Yamamura looks likes he's going to pee himself!_

"Dammit moron! That's not something to joke about!" Dojima shouts, giving Adachi a scathing look.

During the moment of slice that follows, there's a loud thump in the other room. Yamamura takes a step back, hand going for his gun.

"Just someone using the bathroom!" I smile.

Yamamura looks down and jolts—As if noticing the blood for the first time.

There are a few more banging noises, as Kubo probably regains consciousness. "I-I-I really need to get back to the station!" Yamamura blurts and backs towards the door.

"Come back anytime!" Adachi gleefully shouts after him as the door slams shut. Then Dojima strides over to the couch and promptly cracks him across the face. Only Kanji flinches—The rest of us aren't fazed a bit, used to this kind of scene.

"What the hell jackass?!" Dojima cries. "We have no control over this situation anymore! Don't go aggravating people who can give us trouble."

"He was being so nosy..." Adachi pouts, unhurt. "And just how long do you plan to hide my living here?"

He's saved from a tirade, though, when the bathroom door clicks open. Kubo peeks out, confused. Then the color drains from his face when he spies all of us hanging around so casually— _Especially_ the man he thought he killed. He slams the door shut and Dojima groans loudly.

"Get out of there!" Dojima hollers, walking into the kitchen to get a beer. Kubo reopens the door and meekly steps into the room. "Stay right there and sit on the floor." Kubo complies while the man chugs the whole beer and slams the can on the table. "You have one chance to explain yourself. We know who you are, and if you move from that spot I will arrest you," he barks. "Breaking and entering. Attempted assault. Assaulting a police officer. I can go on. So don't move an inch."

He considers the other option. "If you try to pull something else or make a run for it, I'll let _them_ deal with you." He cocks a thumb at the rest of us, as if we're a real threat.

_Well, Adachi did get him pretty good._

The rest of us fall silent as we wait to see what Kubo will say. His eyes dart around, glancing at each of us, not talking for a while. Dojima opens a second drink and gestures that he'd better say something.

"If you know who I am, then you know about the  _shadow_ ," Kubo starts. "I've seen it coming and going from here! I saw it following him—" he points at me. "And I don't want all that crap to start again!" There's a desperation in his eyes I don't like.

"How long have you seen it for?" Adachi speaks up.

Kubo looks around, as if it could be here right now. He's frowning. "For more than a week it's been hanging around in town. I followed it back here."

"That's before you even got back!" Kanji remarks.

Adachi makes a guttural noise. " _Shut up_!" He cries and everyone snaps their attention right to him. "I  _know_  now that I've been  _set up_ , okay?! Let's deal with him first," he points at Kubo.

Dojima sighs. "Why did you try to stab him? And then when you hit me instead you just kept going!"

"If you kill them their shadow stops, right?"

Kanji and I exchange worried looks. "No," I tell everyone. "Aniki-chan's god didn't even show itself until he passed out. We took care of him and his persona, but it didn't make a difference at all."

Dojima pulls out a chair and sits down. "What's this about gods?"

"We'll fill you in later," Adachi tells him, then turns to Kubo. "He wasn't even involved in all of this and you  _killed_  him." He's glaring so viciously at Kubo, I bet he'd rip him to shreds if the rest of us weren't around.

"Says the other murderer," Kubo mirthlessly laughs. "It's easier after the first one isn't it?"

"How are you even  _out of jail_?!" Adachi venomously yells.

"Likewise," Kubo counters.

Kanji smacks the wall! "Enough fighting." He turns to Kubo expectantly.

"I wasn't tried as an adult. So I got out at twenty and now it's sealed.  _Easy_."

_I think that's too easy…_

The looks shooting around lead me to believe no one had considered this. Nor had anyone followed up on Kubo before now.

"I have an apartment a little out of town and work at game store in Okina City."

"Game store?" Adachi quickly interjects, perking up. "Do you, like, get discounts?"

Dojima turns to him incredulously, shaking his head. "Shut up, Adachi." Adachi looks angry at being addressed by his last name, but doesn't say anything more. "The man killed me and you want a  _discount_?!"

I feel a laugh in my throat, but swallow it quickly. I'm starting to see the black humor sprinkled in. _With stuff like this, if you don't find at least one point of light, the darkness will surround you completely._

Dojima stands again and walks towards Kubo. "Put your number in my phone." He hands the other man his mobile. "I will give it to him and to him," he points to Kanji and Adachi.

"We all know about these... Whatever they are. So we should keep tabs on each other. However, if I see you around here again and when you are not invited, I'll let _them_ handle you. And Adachi's a  _murderer_ , right?" Dojima glares tightly, taking his cell back after the other man is done. " _Get out of here._ "

Kubo stands and bolts for the door. When it slams behind the strange man, you can feel the atmosphere lighten. Everyone is breathing easier and sighing in relief. _It's been a long afternoon..._

"I have some homework to do," Nanako excuses herself and walks up the stairs.

"Me too~" I tell the others and run after her. No one even bothers to correct me, already busily discussing everything and catching Dojima up.

"Nana-chan!" I breathe, jumping onto her bed to play with my phone while she works. "Are you okay?"

She sets down a notebook and turns around. "Not really."

 _I didn't think so._ "It's okay now though!" I try to reassure her.

She chews on her lip, seeming not-at-all convinced. "Nothing like that's happened in so long. I didn't think about what all of us having personas would mean... I was just happy to be included."

I shove my phone back in my pocket. "That's why Kanji was so upset before. He knew it wasn't going to be easy."

"You were about my age and you were fine." I can feel my smile falling.

 _Everyone's unique_.

"You can't measure yourself against any of us. We all have different powers and strengths." Today was a real shock to me, too. "And no one's approached us so violently in your world before! He was wild!"

Nanako sighs. "He was holding a grudge, right?" I tentatively nod. "How many more people do you think have vendettas against Tohru-jisan? This could happen again." She folds her arms and sits down on her desk chair. "This could be the beginning of a lot of trouble."

"That is true..."

_Isn't there anything I can say?_

Nanako smiles weakly and turns around to do her work. I lay still for a few minutes, staring at her back and wondering what  _I_ _can_ do.

_I can protect her. Maybe I can only help one person, but that can be her. That's something I can do!_

I smile and walk over to Nanako. She doesn't turn around, absorbed in her studies already. I lean down and hug her, squeezing my arms around her neck. "Don't worry." I say. "I'll protect you, and you can heal me!"

My face feels hot. She looks up at me and her face lights up. "I know." She pats my arms. "We'll be alright. It's going to take me some time to adjust, but I trust you. And Kanji and Tohru-jisan and the others." Nanako's eyes look like they might cry, but I think she knows how much I care. "Thanks, Teddie."

I beam and squeeze her again. "Of course~ You can always call me and I'll get there super-fast!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Re-Edited 6/14/17


	16. Entropy (Tohru)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Evening. Everyone's pulled through and they finish processing the day's events. Tohru attempts to confront Black Frost and grapples with opening up to everyone--To ANYONE!

Chapter Sixteen: Entropy

(Tohru) 

"Do you two want to stay here tonight?" Ryoutarou asks the boys while we're cleaning up after dinner. "I think we're all fairly shaken up, and—" he points right at Teddie. "—this is for  _tonight only_."

The blond boy breaks out smiling immediately, cheering and dancing around the first floor like today wasn't a total clusterfuck. Ryoutarou groans, turning to Kanji. "You're sure I shouldn't even go to the doctor?"

The tall kid nods. "It looks good enough. Yukiko can do a much better job, but I don't know if you need to be inside a TV. None of us have ever been able to summon out here."

Ryoutarou nods back dumbly, taking in as much as he can without going nuts. "But you said Nanako could too?"

"She did," Kanji reluctantly admits. "But we don't know much about it. Teddie can tell they're different from the rest of us, but we don't know how or why. Most of this is trial and error." Ryoutarou nods again and pours some coffee.

"Don't worry," I brightly assure him. "You can get one soon, too!" The two just stare at me like I'm out of my mind.

"I'd rather not get any further into _'this'_ ," Ryoutarou gestures around the room with his mug, frowning deeply. "I don't know how much I can take."

"Well..." Kanji rubs his neck and looks away from him. "We might need you to try to get one. _This guy,_ " he jabs a finger at me. "Apparently set up your world by accident. So if you ever end up on the other side of the TV or something, you might die."

Ryoutarou pales, connecting the dots. "Like Yamano and Konishi?"

Kanji nods.

I sigh. "Well, we don't know how  _exactly_  they died, but it was definitely their shadows."  _Mostly._

Ryoutarou's face darkens. "They were mutilated and drained of blood!" he hisses in a low voice. "I don't want to die like that!"

I slap a hand on his shoulder. "Then we'll take care of it. Just get used to everything for now. One step at a time, as you tell me~" I rub his shoulder and try to look reassuring.

My partner sighs and slings am arm around me. "You're going to have to explain that sometime, you know." I nod, knowing he means the time I dragged him in to begin with.

"Well," Kanji yawns. "I'm going to head out. I wanna to stop by and fill Yuki-chan in. If we do move forward, we're going to need her!" The others wave as the tall one steps into his shoes.

"Take Tohru's key," Ryoutarou orders and I balk.

"That's  _mine_!"

" _Idiot._ We only have three keys," Ryoutarou leans his head on mine. "We need to keep the door locked again, alright?" he asks loudly. The kids agree and he turns to me. "You're not supposed to go far from the house as it is. I want them to have it for now."

I huff. " _Fine._ " Ryoutarou pats my back, then washes his cup in the sink. Kanji shuts the door behind himself and locks it. I turn back to Ryoutarou. "Do you want to know how I did it today?"

He pauses. Then drops his mug in the rack a bit roughly. "What do you mean, Tohru?" he sharply inquires.

I smirk. "I can't do it very far, but a few feet works." I look at the floor a little bit away and manage to teleport out of my anklet. I hear it clatter to the floor a second later.

Ryoutarou literally jumps and drops the dishtowel. "Yah!"

The kids look over from the television and I hold up the bracelet for them to see. Teddie “ooh”s and Nanako gives me a thumbs-up. I proudly hand the bracelet to Ryoutarou.

He promptly throws it back to the floor, unamused. "Well _that's_ useless."

"You'll get more keys?" I prod.

"Yes," he dryly replies, picking up the towel and hanging it.

Ryoutarou cheeks his watch. "I'm going up," he announces. He looks over at me searchingly. "Too much happened today..." I nod because there isn't much I can say to that.

"Don't stay up too late," Ryoutarou warns Nana and Teddie. "You stay in Tohru's room, _got it_?" The blond boy nods eagerly.

With Ryoutarou climbing the stairs, I turn to the kids. "G'night~ Mess up my bed and end up on a TV antenna~!"

" _Goddammit Tohru!_ " Ryoutarou angrily hollers. But Teddie is laughing and Nanako's rolling her eyes. _No harm done._

"Coming~" I sing and bound up the stairs. "What?" I ask, grinning.

Ryoutarou sighs, sounding aggravated. "I don't have _words_..."

"That's okay!" I tell him. "It's not that complicated after you learn the basics... Oh—!" I remember Black Frost. "I need to deal with something. I'll be in my room for a bit."

"Whatever," he replies. "I'm going for a soak and then to bed. And tomorrow I want a better explanation."

"Okay~" I bob my head and retrace my steps across the hall. I shut my door behind me and call for Frost.

"Hee hooooo~!" he sings, appearing out of thin air. "So happy to see Izanagi again, ho!"

My face tightens to a glare. "Are you now?"

He tumbles around in the air excitedly. "Ho yes! We need him!"

"You set me up." It isn't a question and the thing doesn't answer. "Is there something worse?"

"Hoo... This world is changing. Better for my friend to be safe."

I narrow my eyes.

Frost waves his hands around. "Hee hee we're going to be on the winning side~ And you can protect the humans, ho! Both win!"

I glower at him. "Don't purposely get anyone else killed. Unless I tell you."

"Hee hoo~" it coos and vanishes.

"Shit," I swear. _Nothing's going to be as easy as promised._

I click on my cell and use the camera to look at myself. _My eerie eyes. This is who I really am._

All the cards are on the table this time around. I don't have any more aces up my sleeve or secret helpers or places to hide. It's all laid bare and every one of those bumbling idiots out there knows  _who_  I am and  _where_  I am.

I hear a knock on the door. "Yeah?" I call, clicking my phone back to sleep.

Teddie and Nanako walk in. "You shouldn't trust them too much," the boy nervously tells me.

_They know everything..._

"Who else was I supposed to trust? The inmates? The  _guards_?"

"You can trust _us_ ," Nanako replies. "We can help, but only if you let us."

"So what did he say?" Teddie asks, jumping on the couch.

I give him an annoyed look. "Nothing you don't already know. He said things are changing. He said to protect myself."

"Well things _are_ changing..."

"He said I needed Izanagi." I tip my head back in thought. "I don't know why I would when I can just contr—"  _Oops_.

They're staring at me expectantly when I glance back. I guess now they  _will_  know everything.

I tug at my hair, annoyed it shows off my anxiety. "I, uh, I was able to form a contract with Black Frost. I have another one, but it needs to be summoned and it's tricky..."

"Why? You just gotta yell ' _persona_ '! Or it's name!" Teddie laughs.

Nanako shakes her head. "I don't even need to do that."

"The  _contracted_  ones," I correct. "It's different. If I want to summon them, I have to use some power. Black Frost helped me. It uses my blood."

"That's gruesome." Nanako wrinkles her nose.

"While I was in prison I found out how to form contracts. They're different than persona bonds. I  _own_  them."

Nanako absorbs this thoughtfully. "So Black Frost?"

Teddie is rocking back and forth, looking uneasy.

"He just comes when I call. I never  _un_ summon him. Part of our agreement was that he’s free when I don't need him."

"Those aren't the rules..." Teddie is frowning deeply. "I'd never seen a persona on this side before."

"Kid!" I exclaim. "You're a  _shadow_  on this side. Personas and shadows are similar. It makes sense—and if you would pay attention—he's not a persona. He's a _demon_."

"What," Nanako uncertainty begins. "Are _you_ , Tohru-jisan?"

I turn to her, unsure how to answer.

_I guess the real answer._

"I got a little too chummy with my shadow. I accepted him a little too much. Now I'm  _both_. My shadow and I." _I need an easier explanation..._ "Think of me as chaotic neutral."

"Like in a game?" Nanako asks.

" _Just_  like a game!" I point at her, smiling.

"Ooh!" Teddie whoops.

But her eyes bore through me. "That doesn't mean you're  _good_."

I wag my finger at her. "Doesn't mean I'm bad, either. I'm whoever you want me to be!"

"Whoever  _you_  want you to be," she corrects.

I shrug. "At the end of the day, yes. But don't sell yourself short.  _You're_  more important than you think."

_That's enough chatting._ _I don't need more people knowing they have power over me._

"G'night," I wave to the kids and hastily leave the room, yanking a charger out of the wall on my way out. I can feel Little Miss Justice watching me walk away.

_I'd never do something simply because it's the right thing. I've learned that gets you nowhere in life._

I slide the door to Ryoutarou's room closed behind me. It's quiet. I bet he's asleep.

I shirk my shirt and pants and toss them in a pile. Plug in my phone and game. And collapse on the futon.

_Fuck I'm tired._

_I don't miss Inaba anymore. I was a fool to think things here could ever be peaceful._

I'm just drifting off to sleep when I hear Ryoutarou say something: "I really died today?"

" _Yes_ ," I tiredly reply, my voice muffled by my pillow. I yawn.

"Have you ever died?"

" _No_."

"Have any of the kids died?"

" _Probably_. That's why there's magic that revives people. But it doesn't work over here. And it's powerful. I can't do it."

He's silent for a minute, but then starts asking more questions.  _Damn!_

"How long has Nanako been one of you?"

" _Recently_." _That I've known._

"Do you have to—" Ryoutarou starts to ask another but I roll over throw my arm around him, groaning loudly.

"No talks. Just sleeps." I let out a big breath— _Really beat._ " _Tomorrow_. Just try and sleep or you'll feel worse. Exhaustion happens." Ryoutarou chuffs but stays quiet.

_Having a party must be the pits. Did they have to explain everything all over every single time they saved another one?_

I lean against Ryoutarou and hope there aren't any more surprises.

_We'll figure it out..._

For one more night I want us to just be  _us_.

Just  _you and me._

_The way we used to be—Before I was in too deep, before people started dying, before you went into a TV…_

Before I became  _me_  and  _him_.

One calm night, and we'll deal with everything else later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so SO much for sticking with me until the end!!! I extremely appreciate your time! I love being able to share my passions and ideas with everyone online. :)  
> If you have a few minutes, please drop me a line! I would love any feedback and ideas--And criticism is super welcome! It makes me happy and motivated to see that people are enjoying my writing~  
> I will be taking a week off again between stories so I can get ahead. I like to have at least half written before I begin posting to make sure I'll see the story through to the end. If you didn't hear, it's going to be called "Watakushi", which is a general way of saying "I" and also indicates private matters. I have a few chapters partially written and am excited about my new ideas--What if Adachi and his shadow had more to them than we knew? What was it like when he met his 'other half'? And don't even get me started on Dojima's shadow!! I have big plans for that, too. I want to just give it away so badly... Know that I'm working to execute everything superbly. But it takes time... In the meanwhile, feel free to visit my profile and even send me an email. I love chatting about manga, games, anime, novels, whatever.  
> One last time-- Thank you!!! I hope to see you in a week~~  
> \---***---  
> Re-Edited 6/14/17


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